A Fine, Young Man

By A. J. Monaco | Wednesday, April 23, 1997

When I was a kid growing up in Newark with my brothers, my parents had a quick and easy way of handling us. If we didn't do what they wanted they would punish us by sending us to our rooms. Crawl on the cover of our pool in the winter — 'Go to your room!' Forget to do our chores — 'Go to your room!' Throw the cat at each other — 'Go to your room!' I can't even count the number of hours that I spent in my room after beating on my brother Mike.

But it worked. Eventually we learned to behave and do what we were told. My parents had our best interests at heart, and they did, and still do, know better than us. I probably haven't been punished by my parents since I was 15.

Five years later I'm a junior in college. Here, the administration also has a way of punishing students who don't do as they are told. Leave your bike on the grass, 'That's $100.' Lose your room key, 'That's $50.' Don't finish your gym requirement on time, 'That's $150.' Get brought in drunk to Dick's House, 'Whoa, that's gonna run you $550.'

At Dartmouth, fines are a way of life — the administration's way of ensuring that the students do what the administration wants. Every aspect of life here is finable: from residential life to academic life to social life. Some departments even depend on fines to generate their revenue. The students here take it for granted that they will be fined, and fined often.

I've heard numerous exasperated friends complain about the number of fines that they've gotten here. One friend was charged over $60 dollars for tearing down posters. Another had his car 'booted' by the College, and couldn't drive it until he paid over $500 in fines. Another friend had to pay over $1,000 in parking tickets before he was allowed to graduate.

Dartmouth once had a very special reputation, a reputation as the school with the highest student satisfaction in the nation. When I talk to older alumni, they have nothing negative to say about their time at Dartmouth. They only remember the big picture — not the minutiae of fines. They were treated like adults and given freedom to live their lives.

Although the students still love Dartmouth, the College is slowly losing that special reputation. When I talk to recent alumni, they tell me about the good times they had. But they also talk about how Safety and Security harassed them. How administrators were inflexible beauracrats, concerned only with following the book. How they were treated like children, being punished for not finishing the gym requirement on time or for losing a key. Our parents knew what was best for us when we were kids, but aren't we supposed to be adults now? If you lose a key, you replace it — end of story.

The administration is selling out Dartmouth's reputation for a surprisingly cheap price. The amount of fines collected through DA$H in the fall averaged $20 a student. The students are being hassled for a little more revenue by the enormous parking beauracracy. Note to Parkhurst — happy alumni are generous alumni.

Other schools have it right. There are virtually no fines levied at the other Ivy League schools. They understand how to keep students happy — to treat them sensibly and like adults.

A Fine, Young Man

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