Letters to the Editor

Wednesday, April 23, 1997

Go Dartmouth Lawyers!

Editor's Note: The following letter was sent to The Dartmouth Review by Karen Parkman.

To the Editor:

As a recent alumnus, I must ask this question of the older alumni — was the Dartmouth Alumni Magazine always so bad, or is this a relatively new development? I refer of course to its childish nature (accusations of immaturity are reserved for The Review). Our alumni magazine is actually 'cute.' Also annoying. For example, I recently received a copy of the Dartmouth 'Alumnae' Magazine, which made the remarkable suggestion that the previous seventy classes were alumnae classes, a falsehood both in Latin and English usage. The 'class notes' for my year only gave news of the women '95s and the proposed 'new' traditions contained therein involved some sort of strange candlelight ritual used at women's colleges. A bizarre fundraising scheme, perhaps?

But there is more. I neglect the insightful descriptions of this fine newspaper in that magazine's pages. No political bias there. Merely note that editors of The Review have clerked for Supreme Court justices, written best sellers, attended numerous elite graduate schools, and generally make a great deal of money. On the other hand, the editor of The Alumni Magazine, Jay Heinrichs, has just left to edit a prestigious magazine usually served to a captive audience with salty peanuts. You tell me which publication is doing better. This letter was not intended to discuss trifles, however. De gustibus non disputandum.

It is now time to address a question dear to alumni and students alike, a question for which the Alumni Magazine offers little guidance. What will we do about our mascot? Yes, we all know that the Dartmouth Indian will never die. Neither will the 60's generation. In the meantime, the administration seems as close as possible to admitting that the 'Big Green' was an unmitigated disaster. As Dana Carvey said when he visited Hanover a few years back, 'What's a Big Green?' So while new mascots are being proposed — goofy animals, large rocks, and cartoon characters it seems — I thought I would add my own contribution to the debate. Brace yourself, gentle reader. 'The Dartmouth Lawyers.' It has a nice ring to it. Think of the intimidated Yalies, or Harvard 'men.' Everyone cringes at the thought of a good law suit. If we loose the game, we can always seek an injunction, maybe punitive damages. Moreover, the timing is excellent. Our nation has never had more respect and admiration for the legal profession than right now.

The legal theme runs deep. We have probably had more litigation over the identity of the College on the Hill than any other school in history. From Dartmouth College v. Woodward ('It is a small school, but there are those that love it...') to all those law suits The Review won against Parkhurst in the 80's, courtrooms have been central to our very nature, Dartmouth qua Dartmouth. Our most famous alumni, Daniel Webster and Rufus Choate, were esteemed litigators. And President Freedman, bless his heart, even has a law degree. I am attending law school.

The very personality of our school changes with the law. Consider. Why is the administration killing the fraternities? To protect against law suits. Why the wimpy bonfires? To protect against tort actions. Why all of those 'goals' in the admissions office? To prevent Title VII law suits. Why does Dartmouth have no varsity wrestling team? Title IX. Why is Dartmouth known as such an accepting place for freedom of speech? Well, I guess it's not. But that's because the College lobbied so heavily to kill a free speech bill in the New Hampshire legislature. And lobbyists are often lawyers, if you see the connection.

Perhaps the sensitive reader is unaware that the legal profession considers itself to be a victim class. Lawyers cannot understand why they are hated. So much prejudice and hegemony with which to contend. The problem is so dire that the Bar is actually trying to cut down on lawyer jokes. Certainly, our politically correct age has room for one more downtrodden group. Multiculturalism should respect the deeply felt need we attorneys have for love and understanding. God, I can't even write this stuff. But I have little doubt that a Parkhurst attorney could find a nice mushy reason why our awareness needs to be raised for the legal profession.

Of course, I save the strongest argument for last. The sheer convenience of being the Dartmouth Lawyers. Instead of donning some stuffy, sweaty moose costume, the lucky mascot-wearing student could simply dress up as a prototypical creature of the law. He could dress up as James freedman, darling of The New York Times. Big ears, beady little eyes beneath the glasses, an awe-inspiring countenance. No one has ever seen Freedman at a campus event before, but that would change. He would suddenly... have friends on the football team. Of course, the 'Freedman' lawyer would switch sides during Harvard games, but we always beat Harvard, anyway. Give it some thought.

Karen Parkman

Thanks, But No Thanks

Editor's Note: The following letter was sent to Dean Pelton, and carbon-copied to The Dartmouth Review.

Dear Dean Pelton:

Thank you for your informative and lengthy letter of March 10, 1997.

I appreciate your earnestness, but I must comment that you have labored mightily to present a politically correct explanation of the ever-increasing time and attention devoted to students upon the base of race or ethnicity, not upon the basis of the fact that they are all students at Dartmouth College. Yours is a classic statement of reasons of the genre emblemized by the current administrations policies at my College. You state on page three of your letter that Asian-American students 'were advised that the College does not designate deans for specific racial or ethnic groups, but that the College does provide administrative support for groups that have demonstrated need.' I'm curious as to the meaning of the term 'demonstrated need.' What does that mean? I suspect that it's 'double speak' for the administration's desire to treat groups specially, rather than as a part of the whole College. If the administration continues such practice, you can be assured that Dartmouth's fragmentation will increase and graduates will continue to think of themselves as members of one special group or another rather than simply Dartmouth alumni — or alumnae.

The sum total of the administration's policy is the changeover of Dartmouth to just another higher education institution. The distinguishing feature continues to be geographic. Otherwise, we could characterize the College as 'the Harvard of the north woods.' This is the tenth year of President Freedman's administration and he has indeed succeeded in his objectives. Your letter, which surprises me for its length and candor, (notwithstanding the 'double speak') is probative in that respect.

These are selected aspects of Dartmouth's ennobling tradition which remain as motivators for support of the College financially. (Support for sentimental reasons is predictably a reflection of older age.) It is, however, difficult to give expression to tangible monetary endorsement of this administration; sheer loyalty to true Dartmouth graduates such as my class agent, Dr. Paul Bjorkland, motivates contributions to the Alumni Fund, although I prefer specific donations to specific activities at the College, such as men's volleyball, which was debased to a 'club sport' because of Title IX and the college administration's interpretation of Title IX.

In any event, that's enough of my ruminating. You've answered my letter to President Freedman in more ways than perhaps you realize. Please assure President Freedman that I won't trouble him with further inquiries. The path of Dartmouth under his administration is inescapable and a complacent board of trustees obviously acquiesces in that path.

Thanks again for writing and please convey my warm personal best wishes to the President.

Yours truly,

Quentin L. Kopp '49
San Francisco, CA

Horace Mann Is Fine With Me

To the Editor:

There is a sad irony in last issue's article by Ben Wallace-Wells deprecating our common high school, Horace Mann. In its condescending critique of materialism at Horace Mann, the piece is itself an archetype of materialism, harping incessantly on money, Gucci, and Lexus to corroborate its designation of Horace Mann as 'Dartmouth's Worst Feeder School.' By focusing on these petty aspects as by-products of a predominately Jewish new-money clientele's efforts to advance, Wallace-Wells disregards the more important ideas behind this phenomenon. He paints a bitter, lopsided, often inaccurate picture of the school, and thus spits in the face of a fine institution to which he owes, among other things, his very right to attend Dartmouth. I would like to repair the reputation of Horace Mann which the article apparently attempts to destroy, and caution Wallace-Wells not to bite the hand that fed him.

To begin with, I could elaborate here on the experiences of some Horace Mann students whose daily commute to school involved not a Lexus, but a two-hour subway journey from housing projects in Brooklyn and Staten Island. Or the story of parents such as my own, who often struggled to pay Horace Mann's full tuition, let alone afford a house in the Hamptons. More important to note is the fact that, regardless of financial status, there is a common denominator linking all Horace Mann families: a profound emphasis on education and its pursuit at one of the region's best-reputed institutions. It is precisely this focus on education, which Wallace-Wells diminishes to an obsession with grades, that brought many Horace Mann families, particularly the wealthy ones scrutinized in the article, from a struggling existence as immigrants to leaders in the corporate, scientific, and political worlds. This progress is not only remarkable, but truly unique and thus does not deserve the label of social-climbing the article disrespectfully assigns it. I, for one, have more respect for wealth and prestige acquired through hardship than passed on comfortably for generations upon generations. While, admittedly, I also saw the fancy clothing and cars at Horace Mann as slightly excessive, these displays must be more broadly understood as the efforts of some parents to provide their children with what they themselves did not have.

It is also true that the influence of some pushy, grade-obsessed parents at Horace Mann was indeed difficult to ignore. However, for every extreme example of a student whose Daddy had her tutored in the womb, I can show you many more whose basic values about education were entirely balanced and healthy in their diligent tendencies. Few would disagree that an emphasis on education and academic achievement is a positive ideal to enforce among teenagers. And if parents can contribute to this end financially as well as ideationally, so be it.

Furthermore, the preoccupation with grades that some students may have picked up at home was by no means perpetuated in the classroom. Most teachers, in fact, blatantly discouraged so-called 'grade-grubbing,' advocating instead concepts of independent thought, intellectual curiosity, and hard work. As a result, the workload was considerable, but its benefits immeasurable. I am sorry if Wallace-Wells feels the Horace Mann experience deprived him of pep rallies and crowded football games more common at a traditional high school. However, he also neglects to mention that Horace Mann boasts one of the most active student bodies in its area — in community service, clubs, publication, student government, and, yes, even sports. In teaching, as well as in the abundance of opportunities it provides its students, Horace Mann lives up to its excellent reputation. In fact, had it not been for the work of its dedicated faculty and outstanding college placement program, Wallace-Wells might not even be at this prestigious institution. As he himself concludes, the Horace Mann 'formula' does, indeed, work in helping its graduates succeed. But contrary to his subsequent claim that these alumni 'descend on [Ivy League] schools, spreading the obnoxious, ostentatious, provincial New York snobbery their education has taught them well,' the only example I have seen of this alleged trend is in Horace Mann's recent representation in The Dartmouth Review. So before Wallace-Wells dismisses his alma mater as a hotbed for pretentious social climbers, perhaps he should put his own glaring pretensions aside. I assure you he did not acquire them at Horace Mann.

Lee Rom '99
Hanover, NH

Letters to the Editor

Article Tools

Related Articles