Wednesday, October 22, 1997
Volume 18, Issue 2

The Decline and Fall of Professor Dorris

On the evening of April 10th, Dartmouth Professor Michael Dorris, nationally recognized Native American Studies guru, checked into the Brick Tower Inn in Concord, New Hampshire under the assumed name of George Fonta. He entered his hotel room, placed a 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the outside doorknob, and then blocked the door using two chairs.

Biology and a Bialy: Student Protests at Columbia

The West End is a nice bar on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. The walls and table are a worn mahogany, and plumes of smoke roll easily across the expansive room. However, there have been a few complaints about the lack of seating lately — especially during class. Since the onset of a clerical workers strike Columbia students have been forced to attend classes off campus, and the administration is doing little, if anything, to quell the dispute.

Blood in the Streets of Durham

National media attention has recently been riveted on the quiescient town of Durham, New Hampshire, as a pair of clashes between police and students have disrupted campus life and sent the University of New Hampshire into a state of prohibitive unrest.

The Webster Avenue Riots: A Satire

11:38PM (Hanover,NH): Chi Gamma Epsilon Fraternity

An electrical socket overloaded with strobe lights causes a power outage during George Michaels' rendition of 'Freedom.' A riot ensues on the dance floor and spills onto Webster Ave.

Letters to the Editor

Dear Mr. McWilliams: I think you are absolutely right about Racism. If black people are given preferential treatment, the world will infer that they are not good enough to do it on their own.