Me and the Conspiracy

By Jeffrey Hart | Wednesday, February 4, 1998

Visiting a mostly black public school. in Harlem last week, the First Lady, wearing a cheerful yellow outfit, leaned over the desk of a tyke who was making letters with a crayon. 'Learning how to spell,' she said, 'is a lot easier than stopping people from hating you.' (Blaine Harden, Washington Post). That remark might have been puzzling to a seven year-old, if he did not understand that he was hated. But though the reporter covering Hillary wrote that she did not allude to the scandals enveloping her husband, this remark at a very deep level actually did fit in.

Because the next day on the NBC-TV 'Today' show Hillary depicted the president as the victim of a 'vast right-wing conspiracy.' She brushed aside questions by host Matt Lauer and explained that Starr is in league with Jerry Falwell and others on the far right When Lauer objected that Janet Reno had approved the present investigation by Starr, Hillary shot back, 'Well, of course, because she doesn't want to appear as though she's interfering with an investigation. Look, I'm not going to take all that on, because I've learned that we just have to ride this out.'

Clay Chandler of The Washington Post reported that Hillary's attack-defense was the result of deep-think at the White House: 'The decision to transform Clinton's public defense into a rhetorical war with Starr and the political right wing was made at the White House in a series of meetings over the past four days, according to several administration sources. In every discussion in which she participated, the First Lady was a leading advocate of an aggressive strategy attacking Mr. Starr, but it was not until her remarks yesterday morning that they realized that counterattacking was their most effective choice and that she was their most effective weapon.'

Starr's office responded with a written statement saying 'The First Lady today accused this Office of being part of a 'vast right-wing conspiracy'.'

'That is nonsense. Our current investigation began when we received credible evidence of serious federal crimes. We promptly informed Attorney General Reno, and she determined that the allegations merited further investigation.'

That is exactly the sort of statement a leading member of the vast conspiracy would make, and, frankly, I believe Hillary Clinton. I can disclose here for the first time that I have been working hard to unravel this conspiracy for the last six months, and I am pleased to report that the various pieces now are beginning to fall into place.

Furthermore, I have been working closely on this matter with Oliver Stone and we are preparing a major motion picture. The tentative title is 'Getting the President.' In some respects, the movie will resemble Mr. Stone's hit movie 'JFK,' in which the assassination was the work of an interlocking conspiracy involving right-wing Texans, Cubans, Lyndon Johnson, some wackos from Louisiana, the Joint Chiefs of Staff, the CIA, the FBI, weapons manufacturers, and other shady characters, and the fatal shots came not from Oswald in a window of the Book Depository Building but from professional assassins from the famous grassy knoll in front of, not behind, the Kennedy limousine.

Of course the Supreme Court was part of a vast cover-up operation, and it was a fine stroke having Jim Garrison, the New Orleans district attorney who uncovered the interlocking conspiracies, play Chief Justice Earl Warren in the movie.

Oliver Stone's group in connection with this movie made study guides available to school children based on the scenario set forth in the movie, and this reportedly was a great success.

Oliver Stone agrees with me that the plot to get William Clinton was vaster and even more sinister than the plot to assassinate Jack Kennedy. In fact, Mr. Starr himself is part of the conspiracy. The head of the conspiracy, however, is not Jerry Falwell or Pat Robertson, who are merely cats' paws, but a shadowy neo-Nazi who will be played by Jack Nicholson.

Janet Reno is fully a part of the vast conspiracy, of course, and when she declined to appoint a special prosecutor in the fund-raising scandal, that was to throw people off the track, make her look like a Clinton stooge. Timothy McVeigh and the Unabomber are deeply involved, and an important node of it all is in the militia movement in Michigan.

Monica Lewinski in fact is a mole. She comes from a right-wing background in Los Angeles, which , you see, is in Southern California. She was inserted into the White House intern program so that, at the right moment, she could spring the sexual trap on Clinton.

Of course he resisted successfully, but she almost succeeded while he was dozing after lunch on a couch in the Oval Office. Then she made all those tapes.

People like Newt Gingrich and Trent Lott, Falwell and Robertson, will be played by actors from 'Dracula.' G. Gordon Liddy will of course play himself, breaking into the Watergate again.

In the movie, Bill Clinton will be played by Roger Baldwin. I understand that this movie actor is eager to get into big-time politics as a Democrat, and so this movie will be a good warm-up for that.

We pondered for some time about the casting for the Hillary role. Oliver Stone said that we had the ability, such is the technology available today, to cast Veronica Lake as Hillary, or maybe Joan Crawford. But Oliver had a stroke of genius — cinema verite! Hillary herself is going to play Hillary.

After all, she is absolutely inimitable.

Oliver realized this when he read about the little black kid at the school in Harlem. 'Learning how to spell,' Hillary told him, 'is a lot easier than stopping people from hating you.'

When she said that, Oliver realized she was signaling that the plot against Clinton had a deep racial aspect, like the plot against O.J. Simpson, and of course she was alerting the nation's black leadership to get behind Clinton in this vast conspiracy against him.

When the movie premieres at the Kennedy Center in Washington, Oliver and I are going to release a study guide for school children giving all the details of the vast right-wing conspiracy.

With this in hand, they will understand what is really happening and will not be misled by what seems to be happening in the newspapers and in TV news.

Me and the Conspiracy

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