Week in Review

Wednesday, April 15, 1998

Oinking at the Bourgouis Swine

A nursing home without Bingo? What sort of communists would be behind such a seemingly evil plot? Well, in the case of Sunset Hall in Los Angeles, California, old communists and other leftists are responsible. 'They're insulted if you even mention it,' says activities director Priscilla Yablon.

Instead, the residence's inhabitants participate in worker's strikes, watch CNN, and read the collected works of Mao, at least until its time for them to take their medication. They've even begun to rally around a recently fired employee by taking up a petition for his reinstatement.

In order to keep with the ideals of communism, all the Lenin-spouting commies
have also agreed to wear the same red Depends undergarments and food bibs emblazoned with Trotsky's portrait.

Snipping Away

Frank Lombardi still cuts hair as he has for twenty years at the Harvard barbershop. A crimson bib is draped around the shoulders of any member who requests a trim. One tradition, however, was abolished two weeks ago.

The Playboy and Penthouse magazines that until recently adorned the barbershop's magazine racks have been removed.

The club's manager had the magazines expunged at the request of the alumni committee which sets rules for the club. Apparently, some members were worried about offending the sensibilities of female clients.

The removal of the magazines has caused 'a big tempest in a little teapot,' in the words of Henry F. Morgan '41. Many angry club members have written to the committee expressing their disappointment that they can no longer peruse pornography while waiting for a haircut.

Mr. Morgan himself wrote a letter to the committee which included the ardent and moving plea: 'Help free our tonsorial library from censorship.'

Bandung Bandits

With student demonstrations becoming both common and violent, the government of Indonesia has called for a strict enforcement by universities on this unacceptable political behavior. Currently, 73 students have either been suspended or expelled from the Bandung Institute of Technology.

The protests, sparked by Indonesia's worst economic crisis in recent memory, call for the the resignation of President Suharto as well as other changes within the nation's political structure.

The unruly students are also demanding, given the end of the economic crisis, to have Homeplate open at more reasonable hours, and for the initiation of a community bicycle program.

The Fourth 'R'

The American elementary school system has gone through numerous cuts in the past couple of years ranging from programs offered to teachers's salaries, but the most recent cut for some children has been the harshest of all — no more recess.

In effort to increase educational time within the classroom, school districts across the country have eliminated recess as a waste time that would be better off spent on academics.

The superintendent of schools in Atlanta, Dr. Benjamin O. Canada, has recently implemented this program under his administration citing, 'We are intent on improving academic performance.

'You don't do that by having kids hanging on the monkey bars.'

In fact, the newest elementary school in Atlanta wasn't even built with a playground.

EnVision This

After several days of intense negotiations with a paid Review informant, we have actually acquired President-elect Jim Wright's submission to the Student Assembly's Visions Project, which collected 800 students 'Visions of Dartmouth' and will deliver them to the new president.

'Look, after 30 years here, I think I know what's up. My Vision of Dartmouth would not include the complete waste of $4,000, approximately 15,000 blitz messages, and my time along with that of the entire student body.'

Gee, Thanks

A news report on USA Today's U-Wire from Brown's student newspaper mentioned how Brown's President was conducting overnight visits among the dorms.

President Gee surprised students by showing up in random dorms and spending the night talking with the residents and getting their thoughts on Brown, academics, and life.

After meeting the residents and examining their dorms he retired at 12:30 for a good-night's sleep.

President Freedman, inspired by Gee's initiative, invited President-elect Wright over to 1 Tuck Drive for a slumber party featuring 'smores and scary movies.

Wah-Hoo-Wah

The trustees of the University of Illinois rejected an intitative to remove the Fighting Illini Mascot. Some had protested that the mascot, an Indian affectionately known to Illini faithful as 'The Chief,' was offensive to American Indians.

Critics pointed out that were it not for Big Ten Conference obligations some schools such as University of Iowa and the University of Minnesota would not play Illinois because these schools have rules forbidding they play against schools with Indian mascots.

Springing Ahead

Several prominent national leaders, including former Education Secretary Bill Bennett, have called for the removal of the Jerry Springer Show. The leaders objected to the show's sexual and violent content complaining that the show had no redemable qualities. According to the New York Daily News recent show topics have included:

'I fell in love with a Serial Killer'

'I Stole my 12-year's old's Boyfriend'

'I Cut off my Manhood'

'Christmas with the Klan' and

'I'm a Dartmouth President and so is my Best Friend.'

E Pluribus Unai

A student asked a colleague for an explanation of the difference between Chicano, Latino, and Hispanic. For the edification of our readers we have printed the response by self-described 'Latin Rage Machine' and campus superactivist Unai Montes-Irueste:

You ask a very interesting and controversial question and while I do not claim to be the holder of the final word on this subject matter, I do have some thoughts on the matter:

According to my understanding of the thing, Latino refers to all persons who are in whole or in part descendents of those who originate in Latin America—including parts of Latin America now controlled by the USA in some shape or form, like Puerto Rico and the Southwest of the Continental US— (Latin America being a region which in itself is nebulous, but for the sake of argument let's say that it refers to all the nations in the Americas except for the USA and Canada).
As far as I know you neither need to be an immigrant or Spanish (or spanglish) speaking to be considered Latino, however in a game of averages it certainly is probable that immigrant Spanish speakers are Latino.

As far as I know Mexicans, Chicanos and Puerto Ricans are all included under the umbrella term Latino.

It is controversial whether or not Brazilians—not of Spanish-speaking descent—are to be considered Latino, but I would say yes they should be because the history of Brazil, and the push and pull factors which have influenced much of the migration of Spanish-speaking South Americans (safely considered Latinos) to the USA, make it possible to see extremely similar if not exact parallels between the sizeable presence of Brazilians in the USA and the sizeable presence of Chileans in the USA, for instance.

You are right to assert that those who come from Spain are generally excluded from the term Latino as it is used in contemporary society.

Hispanic has been used to refer to everybody, Latinos AND those directly from Spain.

The term Hispanic as far as I know originally was just a way of grouping those who do presently or generations back spoke Spanish so in fact while it includes people from Spain it excludes some groups that might be more comfortable under the umbrella term Latino now the biggest argument against the use of the term hispanic is that it is constructed upon the idea of a shared Spanish heritage and the name does not allow for other European influences, whereas Latino allows for all those who have 'latin' roots (Italians, Portuguese, French, etc.)

More importantly, the term Hispanic does nothing to acknowledge that indigenous or African or Asian blood, culture or influence can be found in those people whose heritage is Mexican, Peruvian, Venezuelan, Cuban, etc.

This is the reason most people find it offensive and controversial.

We know that this is simply not true and thus to embrace the term Latino is to reject that the Spanish are the originators of Latin American culture.

Now the biggest problem with the term Latino is that it is an illogical departure from 'hispano,' which in Spanish is generally the accepted term for anyone who speaks Spanish or who is from a country that the Spanish occupied at one point in time (i.e. most of Latin America) however, as we have already made clear to base pan-ethnic identity on a term rooted in Spain or Spanish culture is very very problematic; the term 'Hispanic' however is older and more well known in this country so there is no reason why the Hispanic caucus should change their name any time soon that and as you have made clear, no community really knows what these terms mean anyway, or better said there is little consensus on proper definititons and their connotative and denotative properties both the term Hispanic and the term Latino can be useful and reasonably utilized to comunicate ideas about the largest pan-ethnic group in the USA but when in doubt do as I do write 'Latino/Hispanic.'

And explain that you must write both for the reasons i have explained above.

I hope this helps... and before I forget...

I am first BasqueMexicanAmerican, then Chicano, then Latino and then Hispanic.

I have too much Basque blood (and too much pale skin) to diss out my mother's family.

I have too much pride in being the only person from my family to be born on this side of the border and in my fellow Mex(j)ican(o), Ch(X)icano people living in the place I grew up (Westside!) and I have too much respect on the work La Alianza Latina has done to try to bring people together under the banner of 'Latinidad' to do anything but list Hispanic last.

Besides, like Paul Rodriguez said 'I get nervous when anyone says my identity is constructed upon a name with the word 'panic' inside of it.' Much love to my British and Columbian brother at Yale.

— Unai

Thanks for clearing that up for us, Unai.

Scout's Honor, Your Honor

A Dartmouth student was recently was arrested by Hanover Police officers for possession of child pornography. A freshman at the College, and an Eagle Scout, apparently had the material on his computer which had been siezed in February following the issuance of a search warrant.

The student turned himself in to the authorities. President Freedman issued a statement saying that he was shocked that his 'creative loner' admissions drive had produced such results.

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