Backstreet with Liz and Courtney: Investigation Into the 'Boy Bands'

By Benjamin Oren | Wednesday, January 20, 1999

'Oh my god, they're back again!'

Yes, its true, and unless you've been Rip van Winkle and have been brain dead since Kurt Cobain burned out instead of fading away you would know that pop music is burning up the charts, pointing and clicking the alt-rock scene into its trash box along the way.

This all started two years back when the Spice Girls platform-kicked Courtney Love and Co. in the head and scratched 'Grrl Power' into 'Girl Power' (with tiny dollar signs dotting the i's along the way). The economy was morphing back into the way it was during the 'Greed is Good' decade of the 80's and people were making too much money to be depressed by the grunge being spewed out by the Seattle bands.

People wanted happy; they wanted sugar; they didn't want to think too much, and the music industry listened. Record execs dug into their vaults of unoriginality and brought forth the return of the boy band (see New Kids on the Block and Color Me Badd). The cash poured in and pop music bullied its way back into pop culture.

As a sixth grade boy back in 1989, I hated this music with a passion. I hated the lyrics; I hated the synthesizer beats; I hated that all the girls loved them. I just didn't get it and I still don't, but there's one thing I do know.

Pop music is run by two groups, men with suits and girls with braces (with the latter being more powerful then the former). Female 'tweens and teens spend mucho dinero on CD's and posters and fanzines and the such. They ultimately decide what is cool, and they do it in droves. According to a recent Rand Poll, girls aged 13 to 15 years old spend on average $41.20 a week.

That type of moolah allows them buy a whole bunch of whatever they want and they seem to be dropping it at Tower Records, HMV, and all the other big music outlets. The top selling albums of the past year have been by the Backstreet Boys with over 8 million records sold and N 'Sync with over 4 million records sold and since I don't know of any guys who own these albums, I assume it's the young ladies who are doing the dirty deed.

Both Backstreet and N 'Sync are cookie-cutter boy groups that contain as many cliches as the latest big summer blockbuster at your local multiplex. They both have the magic number of five members (just like the New Kids). Also, all the 'boyz' thank God 'first and foremost' for being blessed with the 'talent' that he has given them.

They speak of their lovelorn pasts with such ballads as 'Quit Playing Games (With My Heart)' and 'Tearin' Up My Heart.' Their songs also talk about 'doing it' in playful ways. The Backstreet Boys (henceforth known as BSB) asking of 'Am I sexual? Yeah, yeah' is eerily reminiscent of Color Me Badd's (henceforth known as CMB) popular mantra — 'I want to sex you up. All night.' They each have the requisite tough guy photo in their liner notes: no smile, no posing, just wistful staring outward at nothing. Without a doubt in my mind, defining images of the groups.

Despite all this, I still have an open mind about BSB, N 'Sync and all the rest of that pop fluff which is spinning on stereos throughout the world.

I figure I just don't understand the deep philosophical messages that they are trying to project in 'We've Got It Goin' On' and 'Here We Go' (by BSB and N 'Sync, respectively). Its just going a tad bit over my head and all I need is for somebody to explain to me what exactly I'm missing. I didn't have to look far to find this pop interpreter; I'm lived with her for the past decade and she's the most knowledgeable scholar I know in the field of Pop Music Studies.

It was none other then my 11-year-old sister Lizzie, so I decided to sit down with her and her chief-associate Courtney for a little round table discussion where they let me in on all the secrets of the trade.

The following is the official transcript:

The Dartmouth Review: Why do you listen to this stuff?

Liz: Its cool and fun to listen to.

Courtney: Yeah, and you can understand what they say. You can hardly understand what they say on rap CDs.

L: And they have good voices and they're cute.

TDR: But what's the difference between all off them?

L: Well, N 'Sync is like..(pause)... N 'Sync is like... (pause)... Well they all have mostly the same voices but 98 Degrees [another boy group] isn't as good as N 'Sync or Backstreet.

TDR: Why?

L: Because, like, their songs aren't good. Like Backstreet has 'Everybody' (she starts singing the chorus). That's a good song to sing to and dance to. The thing is that they have a lot of love songs so like during slow dances they're good to slow dance to.

[At this point I am more concerned that my little sister is spending her time thinking about slow dancing, but I digress.]

TDR: But what's the difference between Backstreet and N 'Sync?

C: Well the only difference is that they do different types of music. Like, Backstreet has more like fast music, like...

L: Like some of their songs are a little rappy. But like people say N 'Sync is a copy of Backstreet and others say Backstreet is like a copy of that old band the New Kids on the Block.

TDR: Ah ha [feeling really old]. Do you know a lot about these groups?

L: Well we know from like Teen People and stuff. They tell you about them.

TDR: Do you know the names of everybody in the group?

C: Well most of them.

TDR: Most of them? Can you name everybody in Backstreet?

L: Um..No. Mostly N 'Sync.

TDR: Mostly N 'Sync? You like N 'Sync better?

L: Well. I like some Backstreet.

C: Now in the magazines they're talking more about N 'Sync then Backstreet now.

L: Yeah. They're like on all the covers.

TDR: Do you think Backstreet is out of style now?

Unison: No!

C: They're just older.

L: No, it's just like they already had interviews with them.

C: Like N 'Sync, this is their first year, so they're more newer.

TDR: OK. Now here's something that I've always wondered about. I always see fans crying whenever they meet these groups. Why? I don't get it.

L: Because they're like so happy to see them. Its like everyone wants to meet them because they're so good.

TDR: But why cry?

L: Because they're good.

C: Because girls cry when they're happy.

TDR: Girls cry when they're happy?

C: And sad.

TDR: I still don't get it. Anyway, who do you think is cuter: the guy that looks like Leo [Leonardo diCaprio] in Backstreet, the guy that looks like Leo in N 'Sync, or Leo?

L: Well Leo is ugly.

C: Yeah.

TDR: Leo is ugly?

L: Which one in Backstreet?

C: Nick?

TDR: Uh, yeah, Nick. Nick is the one.

L: Nick doesn't look like Leo.

C: No he doesn't.

TDR: Yes he does. Look at him. He totally looks like Leo.

{After some confusion we then clarify which one in N 'Sync looks like Leo (Lance) and they firmly state that he is ugly as well.

L: I would say that the cutest is Nick.

TDR: Nick from Backstreet? Cuter then Leonardo DiCaprio?

C: Yeah. Leo is ugly.

TDR: But everybody loves Leo.

L: He so...ewww.

TDR: We talked about this a little bit earlier, but do you know who the New Kids on the Block are?
Unison: No!

TDR: You don't know any of their music?

L: I don't think so.

TDR: I tried to rent one of their concert videos to show you girls, but they don't make them any more. Those guys were big when I was your age.

L: What do they sing?

TDR: You know 'Step by Step, oh baby' and 'You've Got the Right Stuff, Baby.'

C: I don't think I've ever heard of them.

TDR: No? You've never heard of them?

C: I've heard of them, but I've never heard their music.

TDR: They were exactly the same as Backstreet.

L: They were?

TDR: So you never heard of them?

L: No. 'Cause they were probably like when you were our age years ago.

TDR: Yeah. That was like forever ago.

C: Like the Beatles aren't as listened to as much today as they probably were back then.

It's tough to argue with that logic. I already know that this whole boy group fad is going to pass, just like the New Kids and the Beatles did before them, its just a matter of when; and then its just a matter of when they're going to make their comeback, because if that hack Paul McCartney was able to do it with Wings, then AJ from Backstreet Boys can do it with whoever he chooses. That boy has God given talent.

And that, my friends, is why I am an atheist.

Backstreet with Liz and Courtney: Investigation Into the 'Boy Bands'

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