Mid Mass 221 Derecognized By College

By James Judah | Monday, May 28, 2001

After more than a week of deliberations, Dartmouth college administrators today officially de-recognized Mid-Mass room 221 for its alleged production of an offensive newsletter. The newsletter, dubbed the 'Stallone Papers' contained derogatory and lewd humor about movie-star Sylvester Stallone.

'As of today, Mid-Mass room 221 no longer exists,' Dean of the College James Larimore said in a press conference.

Nicholas Bower '04 and Paul Clancy '04, the two occupants of 221 Mid Mass, were in shock. 'We didn't do anything wrong,' Clancy lamented, 'what I wrote was an attempt at humor.' The allegations stem from an e-mail sent from Clancy to Bower. Clancy wrote: 'Man, I just saw Driven last night — Stallone sucks.' According to a source close to the college, Bower wrote back 'If he comes out with another bad movie, I'm going to need a flow chart just to keep up.'

President Wright, in a letter to the community, condemned the incident. 'Sylvester Stallone is a valued member of our community, and by degrading him, Bower and Clancy degrade us all.' Specifically, he stated that the 'newsletter' was offensive. 'It was harrassment... When our values or Sly are debased, we must take action.'

The 'Stallone Papers' came to light after one of the roommates accidentally printed out a copy of the email exchange on his printer. He quickly threw it in the garbage, but unfortunately for him, Sylvester Stallone, the spunky star of such Hollywood hits as 'Rocky 5' and 'Daylight' found it after rummaging through the dumpster on Mass Row. 'I was shocked and horrified when I read it,' said Stallone. When asked about the derecognition, he said, 'I'm sorry it had to come to this, but just because I publicly whore myself out in trashy Hollywood movies doesn't mean people should be allowed to accurately talk about it behind my back."

There were hopes by some that the incident would blow over after the initial furor created when Stallone went public to the Daily Dartmouth and the administration with his story. But hopes that room 221 could be saved were quickly dashed when news surfaced that the room had been involved in a similar controversy back in 1987 after the release of 'Over the Top.' A handwritten note was found saying that 'Over the Top is almost as bad as F.I.S.T — man, Stallone blows.' Dean of Residential Life Martin Redman told the Daily Dartmouth, 'At first we thought this was merely an isolated incident...but when the previous newsletter was found, we realized it was an institutional problem. That's why we're shutting them down.'

Clancy doesn't agree. 'This is insane...I didn't even see Over the Top until it aired on TBS last summer...I was in first grade when those other guys wrote that letter!'

The reaction from students on campus has been mixed. Most are offended by the graphic nature of the e-mails, but acknowledge that Clancy and Bower are not alone in their actions. 'Everyone makes fun of Stallone—I mean, did you see 'Stop or My Mom Will Shoot'?' said a sophomore at the College who wished to remain anonymous for fear of administrative retaliation. 'Room 221 Mid Mass just made the mistake of writing it down.'

A faculty letter, signed by 85 members of the education and English departments, condemned the newsletter and praised the College's action. Among its complaints, the letter cited the single-sex nature of room 221, which 'undermined tolerance and helped to perpetuate the sexist and anti-Stallone views that led to this crisis.'

Bowers offers a slightly different opinion. 'We're freshmen—the college assigned us to this room. It's not our fault it's single sex. What the hell is the matter with the education department?'

Redman, in a statement, admitted that its being single sex 'didn't help' when it came time for punishment.

Under the terms of the derecognition, Clancy and Bower will be allowed to stay in their room until June 8th. When told that the spring term ends June 10th and that the students will be forced to move out during final exams, Larimore said, 'Yeah—isn't that money?'

The punishment has raised concerns on campus that a speech code has covertly been introduced by the College. President Wright was very clear in denying this charge, however. 'Dartmouth does not have a speech code,' he asserted. 'From now on, you'd just better watch what you say ... or else,' he said as he pulled back his jacket to reveal a holstered handgun.

Larimore acknowledged that the college's actions could be perceived as enforcing a speech code and restricting individual rights. 'Look, we're trying to enact a major cultural change at the school—the Student Life Initiative. But when he was hammering out the Cultural Revolution, do you think Mao got hung up on little things like individual rights?'

Redman quickly interjected, 'Hey, James, we agreed the Chinese example could be misinterpreted. I think a better analogy is what Pol Pot was trying to do in Cambodia. People who own property or wear glasses are evil.'

A reporter for the Daily Dartmouth asked President Wright, 'Now that Zete is de-recognized and Mid Mass room 221 is out of the way, do you have any future plans?' Wright responded, 'We plan on going after SHEBA. We've been letting them get away with their shit for way, way too long.' Redman concurred.

Mid Mass 221 Derecognized By College

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