Saturday, February 7, 2004

The Debate that Never Was

Ignoring all this for the moment, there remains another, more sobering question: Would the Student Assembly event have failed regardless? Here again, evidence is scant. Mr. Sehgal provides after-the-fact e-mails from spokesmen at six campaigns saying they would have attended had the event not been canceled. Yet he only possessed one e-mail from before the event, in which a spokesperson for the Lieberman campaign explicitly said the Senator would attend.

Vandals Apologize to Review

Deaniac for a Day

One malcontent shouted at me, "Thank God Dean will never be president!" I wholeheartedly agreed, but vowing to give one-hundred percent for Dean while working for him, I retorted with brilliant discourse from one of my information pamphlets.

Haines Closes Gap with President Bush

I paused momentarily to take in the scene. It was primary night in Manchester—the place to be for political junkies and darkhorse candidates alike. Within a few blocks we had the Kucinich, Kerry, and Lieberman primary parties, with Dean a couple miles away, and the others further afield. Mobs adorned with various political glad rags swarmed the streets as the polls neared their close. Haines was just another highwire act in the never-ending campaign circus.

A Second Opinion for Dr. Dean

I listened to a plastic, composed Dean prattle about Bush's evil tendencies and desire to bathe in Iraqi oil. He continued, but there was no ferocity, as in Iowa. This was a new Dean, wiser and soberer for his losses. This was a man that knew his final fate, and tried to hide it by not mentioning his loss even once.

Eat Your Spinach, Vote Kucinich

As it turns out, [John and Mariah] are also hip-hop rappers. "We all have the dream / Now imagine a dream team!" they began. Their fat rhymes also included delightful lines like: "They don't call it a political party for nothing!" "Repeal the Patriot Act / Bring our troops back!" "Have you ever heard of that symbol Ying-Yang? Oh yeah!" "Eat your spinach / Vote Kucinich." We are not making this up.

Stair-Raising Horrors: A Paean to Youth

I have no explanation for this predilection. It is not intelligence—no matter how dim we may be, far stupider people avoid such injuries during their lives. Perhaps it is a matter of worldview. By injuring ourselves so, we are subconsciously reenacting a time when higher education was for the privileged, when life was more leisurely, when Plutarch was read for moral guidance, and when beers were neither bitter, nor watered down.

Promoting Promiscuity

The publication included a list of internet links for alternative sexual practices, most notably bestiality, orgies, bondage/dominance, and sadism/masochism.

Democracy, Whiskey, Sexy

After this rousing card-interpretation game we were confronted with a "Contraceptive Grab-Bag" in which we put our hands into a bag filled with various contraceptives and pulled one out. We then spent a great deal of time going through each person's contraceptive device and discussing how each one was used. Comments like "Ooh, that one is my favorite," were not uncommon from event organizers.

David Brooks: How to be an American

Called the "starter suburbs," Brooks places Burlington, VT in this category. Inhabitants are "progressive latte" types who don't want to live downtown but still "want to feel gritty." They are suspicious of anything that is part of the establishment and might drive "any car from a country with a trade policy against the United States." The buzzword is "alternative."

TDR Interview: Paul Begala

Crossfire usually airs from George Washington University's Jack Morton Auditorium in Washington, D.C. Before joining the program, Begala rose to prominence by helping elect President Bill Clinton in 1992, after which he served in the Administration as Counselor to the President, defining and publicly defending its agenda.

John Kerry Live and in Person

His campaign assistants passed out back issues of American Windsurfer with Kerry on the cover, attempting to portray the Massachusetts blue-blood as an average, sporty guy. Once Kerry lumbered in, however, it was clear those efforts had been for naught—the man was almost robotic in his movement and delivery. John Kerry is tall, gaunt, and groggy.

Barrett's Mixology

I arrived in Yerevan late in the spring. Spring is a bad time in Yerevan; then again, it's always a bad time in Yerevan. The bars were quiet, the people subdued.

Letters to the Editors

In this humble individual's opinion, what is needed is a broader, more virile and growing alumnae influence, not the reverse. The alumni at large should be able to participate in the election of all Trustees and alumni leadership positions, as well as express opinion and sentiment via survey or referendum on all important issues that affect the College.

Last Word

People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an election.

—Otto von Bismarck