John Kerry Live and in Person

By Kale Bongers | Saturday, February 7, 2004

A few days before winning the New Hampshire primary, John Kerry spoke in Cook Auditorium. The auditorium was packed, as were four overflow rooms. I'll bet a lot of those people were disappointed.

Before Kerry got started (thirty minutes late), his campaign assistants passed out back issues of American Windsurfer with Kerry on the cover, attempting to portray the Massachusetts blue-blood as an average, sporty guy. Once Kerry lumbered in, however, it was clear those efforts had been for naught—the man was almost robotic in his movement and delivery. John Kerry is tall, gaunt, and groggy.

He began with today's fashionable liberal boilerplate—Bush-bashing. His scope was broad and hit all the high notes. He said the President has "saddled us with a massive budget deficit." Let's not forget that "Al Gore was elected president, but didn't get to serve." Bush has "failed to properly fund the 'No Child Left Behind' program"—even though there is still money left over from the program. Kerry then reached out sleepily to the audience, vowing "we will stop sending young Americans to fight and die for Middle East oil."

The zingers continued: George Bush "though he could play dress-up on an aircraft carrier"; he's "abandoning the children of this country"; he has "the most arrogant, inept and reckless" foreign policy "in American history"; Bush leads the "most anti-science administration" in history. Kerry concluded his tirade with a fan favorite: "the one person in this country who deserves to be laid off is George W. Bush." I'm sure the President is smarting from that clever jab. Who writes this guy's material?

Kerry followed with a call to action. Calling the 2004 vote "the most important election of our generation," Kerry hoped that the primaries would be "the beginning of the end of the Bush presidency." "The powerful interests are stealing your voice," he railed.

Kerry ended with the reasons he should be elected. He touted his Vietnam service—several of his members of his gunboat crew were on stage with him. Digressing slightly, Kerry commanded them to "Smile!" and dispensed hugs. He then launched into his policy initiatives; according to Kerry, they will halve the deficit in four years. He proposed the same old initiatives—universal health care coverage ("not a privilege for the wealthy, but a right"), more education spending, helping the "struggling" economy, "[rejoining] the community of nations," and reinstating partial-birth abortions. He offered "not anger but answers." He said that as President he could be "strong and right at the same time." Everything felt so right—yeah, right.

John Kerry Live and in Person

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