Monday, February 16, 2004

Look Away, Look Away, Killington!

Killington does not belong in Vermont. It deserves more than the "flatlanders," the term that native Vermonters apply to the imported liberals that continue to invade their state. Killington belongs to a state where traditional values are still upheld. Killington belongs in New Hampshire.

Man V. Keg: The Epic Battle Continues

And so one fine Winter Carnival Saturday—maybe next year, maybe the year after that—hordes of students, faculty, townsmen, and county rubes will descend upon the Psi Upsilon Keg Jump, and will emerge wide-eyed with tales of heroic exploits. And for a short while, Dartmouth will once again belong to its students.

Bringing Down the House: Frats on Trial

No doubt, fraternities are under the gun these days. Whether it's shutting down for a weekend, or keeping invite lists, the open nature of Dartmouth's Greek system remains in a precarious position. With little else to do, most houses will hold their breath this weekend. Even if they survive, though, there's still next weekend, and the weekend after that, and the weekend after that.

Mardi Gras of the North: A History of Winter Carnival

Winter Carnival's producer, Walter Wanger '15, enlisted Budd Schulberg '36 and author F. Scott Fitzgerald to write the screenplay. When the duo journeyed to Hanover to prepare the story, Fitzgerald drank so much at the fraternities that he had to withdraw from the project. Despite Fitzgerald's absence, the story perhaps shows a bit of his influence; at the black-tie fraternity dance, the dejected college professor drowns his sorrows in double scotches.

Slanguage: Vernacular Decadence

Steven proved the most comprehensible of the bunch. Each member of Universes presented their own rambling discourses, generally relying on obscenity in lieu of profundity. But why should I speak, when Universes can do so themselves (and far more eloquently, I might add): "Let me stick it in your ears so you can hear me coming!"

The Making of An Artful Warrior

The Making of An Artful Warrior is deceptively generic, however. One can forgive the deluge of awkward prose, but the editing process—or lack thereof—and missing citations create something akin to a whimsical picnic with the Secretary of Defense. A few editorial slips might be permissible, but even the readers of Highlights magazine cannot sanction mistaking September 11, 1991 for September 11, 2001.

Barrett's Mixology

Early the next morning, the state police found us all unconscious, but decided to call us a tow truck anyway. The story ends well, however, as we all made it to campus in time for the keg jump.

Last Word

The civilized world has spent more than a thousand years trying to limit the destructiveness of war. Drawing a distinction between civilians and combatants has been an essential part of this process. But terrorism aims to erase that distinction.

—Colin Powell