Monday, April 26, 2004

Dean: He Just Won't Give Up

Even though he soundly lost every primary in which he participated save that in his home state of Vermont, former Democratic presidential candidate Howard Dean remains on the campaign trail. Governor Dean said his work will not end "until we fundamentally change the country" and remove President George W. Bush from office in November's election.

STOP THE HATE: Woon on Bias Protocols

To the shock of many present, whites constituted nearly the largest group of victims, save blacks. Caucasians were the targets of more incidents than any other group, including Hispanics, gays, Jews, and Muslims. A black woman in the back of the audience quickly expressed her indignation at the idea of bias against whites. Woon quickly shot her down, pointing out that bias is a universal concept, not specific or exclusive of any one group.

The Hemp-Necklace Camp Takes on Terror

Mingled with Sharp's Islamist apologies were grossly inaccurate facts and other fascinating talking points. According to him, Africa is a "developing country," and only two countries ever exercised the UN Security Council veto: the US and the UK (nevermind the 120 Soviet/Russian vetoes).

No Trash 4 Oil!!!

Well, I thought, I have been meaning to raise some awareness. I acquired some official carry-your-trash wear, which was pretty trashy, even for the worst little sweat-shop in New Hampshire. More entertainingly, 'carrying' was obviously misspelled. I would be carring my trash around.

Move Over: Take Back the Night

Regurgitating the Same Tired Performers

With all the hip-hop scholars and Democratic dropouts solidly booked last weekend, Dartmouth invited a man who swallows things for a living… and vomits them up for the audience's drunken delight. This act might seem a bit tired—perhaps, the kind of thing you can see in any fraternity basement. But you show me a fraternity brother who can swallow a light bulb, and I'll show you an Ivy League College willing to pay for his international airfare and agent's booking fee.

What Would Your Ovaries Wear?

However, for many weeks, she was unable to summon the nerve to wear the garment in public, but "Finally, the day arrived. I wore my tank top outside." That was the beginning of a great relationship between woman and shirt, for "I love what my tank top has done for me and what I have done for my tank top."

Barrett's Mixology

This was an occaison for something a little more festive; tropical even. Luckily, the bartender knew his trade and was able to find an appropriate drink using my libation of choice, and we all talked the night away with stories of increasingly dubious credibility.

The Last Word

Neither current events nor history show that the majority rule, or ever did rule.

—Jefferson Davis