Original Article: http://dartreview.com/archives/2004/05/11/week_in_review.php
Tuesday, May 11, 2004
Madras Plaid is Racist
A deranged student sent an e-mail to Kappa Delta Epsilon sorority condemning last weekend's Derby Day party as racist and elitist. The party, timed to coincide with the Kentucky Derby and attended by students wearing summer dresses and seersucker suits, purportedly discriminates against minority students and is far from the innocent soiree it is made out to be. The e-mail said the "Derby Party was about as white as a meeting of the Klu [sic] Klux Klan or a Hitler Pride Parade."
Alabama and Slavery? Who Woulda' Thunk It?
University of Alabama President Robert Witt recently acknowledged the University's ties to slavery and announced the building of a memorial marker at the site of the graves of two slaves who worked for the University.
Mr. Witt emphasized the University's studies of the relationship between the institution and its slaves, who mainly belonged to faculty, as well as the history of blacks at the school. Campus tours will now offer insight into this subject, as the tour guides will point out to visitors sites linked to slavery. The University plans to issue formal apologies, followed by awkward silence, to any descendants of its former slaves.
Iowa Off the Warpath
Bradley University's president, David Broski, announced two weeks ago that his university will phase out its Braves mascot in the next five years. Mere days later, the University of Iowa last week cancelled a baseball game against Bradley because of a policy forbidding the school to play teams with American Indian mascots. Despite Iowa's 10-year-old policy, shared by the University of Wisconsin-Madison, the teams have met several times in past years.
Pay More For Your Nikes
Jim Keady and Leslie Kretzku, two masochists who worked as sweatshop laborers, addressed Dartmouth Hall last Friday as part of a program hosted by the Dartmouth College Greens to promote fair trade. The College-funded event, which featured food, appropriately enough, from an Indian restaurant, discussed specifically the process of fabricating Nike sneakers in Indonesia. An advertisement provided by the Greens indicated that after the "acclaimed multimedia interactive lecture," attendees would be so appalled as to question why they want to own Nikes. The advertisement also confused "fair trade," a policy advocating caving in to American labor unions' protectionist demands, with humane concerns about factory workers.
A "Fair Trade Coffeehouse" followed in the Collis Cafe, featuring everyone's favorite pastime: slam poetry.
Upper Valley Democrats Lose Redistricting Battle
Republicans currently hold a 273-119 seat advantage over Democrats in the New Hampshire House of Representatives, but that number is likely to change as re-districting creates more districts for vastly underrepresented conservative towns. Upper Valley Democrats cried foul when a legislative redistricting plan drafted by New Hampshire lawmakers divided Democratic Lyme and Hanover from the conservative towns of Dorchester, Canaan, Enfield, Orange and Grafton.
While the redistricting will allow the five conservative towns in the new Mascoma district four legislators, it will force five incumbents from the Hanover-Lyme district to fight for four seats. State Democrats are considering legal action to block the statewide redistricting plan that was mandated by Republican Governor Craig Benson. Although the vote was heavily divided along party lines, Democratic representative Peter Solomon voted in favor of the Republican resolution since the towns differ so much.
Starring 'Review Star' Shiela Hicks
Premised on the idea that men fear sex toys because of the possibility of being replaced in bed, the dinner discussion "Don't Fear the Dildo" hoped to dispel men's insecurities through a stomach-churning litany of sexual experiments that, those in attendance were told, aren't really so bad after all. Dartmouth sex guru Sheila Hicks '04 led the event, sponsored by the Myn's Project, and as usual did not fail to spurn modesty, as she opened the proceedings by barging into the room brandishing massive dildos. Discussion centered at first on the advertised topic: male insecurities regarding their partners' use of sex toys, but it predictably swerved to even less palatable matters, as Ms. Hicks breached the subject of penetration of the male anus—yet another indispensable lesson in a well-rounded Dartmouth education.
Immelt '78 to Address Commencement
Jeffrey Immelt '78, chairman and CEO of General Electric, will make the Commencement address on June 13th. Mr. Immelt, along with eight others, will be awarded an honorary Dartmouth degree. Recent Commencement speakers include Fred "Mr." Rogers and former Secretary of State Madeline Albright.
Misogyny Cancels Show
Spelman College last week cancelled a Nelly concert intended to raise money for bone marrow research because of the performer's alleged misogyny. Morehouse College followed suit. Student government president Asha Jennings told a rally that "we can't continue to support artists and images that exploits our women and put us out there as oversexed, nonintelligent beings." Morehouse cancelled their performance when the administration learned that the same women planned to demonstrate on their campus. The recent round of misogyny accusations stem from Nelly's latest video, in which he swipes a credit card through a woman's buttocks.
Pitiful Protest Fails
Despite waves of pleading, socially conscious e-mails, a student-led boycott of Food Court fell victim to a coalition of apathy and lethargy. The demonstrators sought to restore recently fired Dining Services employee Mitzi Nalette to her position as a Food Court cashier. After a lower-than-expected lunch crowd (which DDS employees attributed to free food events planned for First Year Family Weekend), Food Court's business rebounded to normal levels for dinner. Nalette, according to the College, had often been absent without excuse from work.
Better and Faster Than Clubbing Baby Seals
In an April 29th lecture in Filene Auditorium, Temple Grandin, a professor of Animal Studies—really—at Colorado State University, discussed the radical changes she has helped institute in our nation's meat processing industry. To much of the audience's indignant surprise, she emphasized that her chief concern was slaughterhouse efficiency, and not animal welfare; she made concerted efforts to distance herself from PETA and other animal rights activists.
Formerly a slaughterhouse equipment designer, Mrs. Grandin made a name for herself by spending years crawling around in cattle chutes and pig pens to empathize with the animals. This eccentric behavior has a logical explanation—as an autistic, Mrs. Grandin thinks better "in pictures." With her newfound understanding of the animals' experiences, she designed new methods of slaughtering animals that increase efficiency through more sophisticated and humane manipulation of their behavior during the process. Now employed nationwide, such facilities deliver higher quality meat, and more of it, to the American carnivore.
Missouri Still Rages
Last Friday, members of Kappa Alpha fraternity at the University of Missouri-Columbia accidentally fired an antique cannon on their front lawn into an apartment across the street while attempting to load it with fireworks. The explosion destroyed the cannon, which dated back to the Civil War. No one was hurt but the local police and the national Kappa Alpha fraternity are pressing charges.
No Longer Waiting
Editor's Note: In my last issue I published a letter from John A. M. Paro '05 to President James Wright [see TDR 4/23/04]. It dealt with the inconsistencies in the College's regulation of its own performing arts groups—whose image has apparently been "tarnished" by inappropriate behavior—and that of the performing arts groups the College has hired to perform on campus—namely, the 'Kinsey Sicks,' a "dragappella beautyshop quartet." The letter was headed, "Still Waiting."
Shortly after I went to press, President Wright did indeed respond to Mr. Paro. Within, he said that he supported free speech on the campus and defended Director of Student Activities Linda Kennedy's recent meeting with campus groups. He also indicated that he was put off by the performance of the Kinsey Sicks, which he said went beyond the bounds of "taste." I couldn't agree more.