The Dartmouth Review

Porn Is Too Hard to Beat On Your Own

By Daniel Balserak | Tuesday, June 1, 2004

Call me an elitist, or perhaps simply naïve, but it seems to me that there are certain traits that should not afflict students at an institution like Dartmouth, which supposedly brims with our nation's best and brightest. Racism being one such malady; poor dental hygiene, another. The prerequisite level of mental soundness for admission to this school ought to carry with it a subsequent immunity from a variety of disorders. Among these I would venture to place addiction to porn and chronic masturbation.

Apparently, though, I would be wrong—or at least so says EndPorn, a new student group founded by Marshall Smith '07 and Matt Nolan '07 to help students overcome "pornography addiction" and all the shame and guilt that apparently go along with it.

Like the BlabberForce (later renamed the BuzzFlood), Smith and Nolan should have thought twice before finalizing the name of their group. EndPorn, you see, is not trying to End Porn at all—only to assist those who feel that pornographic material is morally wrong, yet still, for one reason or another, cannot pry their hands off it. Such a bold title, however, may have been a calculated publicity stunt, as EndPorn stirred a minor debate in the Daily Dartmouth op-ed pages when they went public. Posters put up by the group encouraged lost souls to direct their web-browsers to the provocatively-titled www.xxxchurch.com, the self-proclaimed "#1 Christian Porn Site" and inspiration behind EndPorn; e-mails from Mr. Smith's account carry the website's URL at the footer. As will become apparent, the association with xxxchurch will probably not win EndPorn many converts.

Having arranged over blitz a meeting with co-founder Marshall Smith, I must admit I had not expected to meet up with a burly ex-football player splashed with mud from an intramural softball game. During our conversation, he attempted to clear up some of the misunderstandings about EndPorn. "We're not trying to abolish porn or change anybody's opinions. We just want to provide support and accountability for people who want to stop looking at porn," he explained. "Pornography cheapens sex and objectifies women." Paraphrasing one of xxxchurch's favorite one-liners, he added, "If it's not shameful, why don't you talk about it with your mom?" I asked Mr. Smith if, were he married, he would talk to his mom about having sex with his wife. He said yes.

Many topics are taboo for the same old-line reasoning that underlines squeamishness around pornography and masturbation: It's gross. I do not talk about these things with my mom. In fact, most of my personal biology makes for less than scintillating conversation, no matter the partner. For instance, I caught a ferocious intestinal virus several years ago in Bolivia. Would anyone like to hear about it? I thought not.

Mr. Smith's argument for the immorality of pornography is, of course, not entirely parallel to my proposed argument for the immorality of involuntary defecation. Namely, other people (women, in particular) are involved in the production and consumption of pornography. Sex and sexuality is meant to be more than just sheer lust, according to the opponents of pornography—porn at once reduces the woman to an object and surrenders the consumer to his most base and primitive urges. This is hardly ground-breaking moral theory. Rather, it's tried-and-true criticism. There are as many adherents as there are pimply-faced teenagers who can tell you the name of the last Jenna Jameson movie. I am implying that both numbers are very high.

But for all those against porn, are there really that many porn addicts—users who want to stop? I asked Mr. Smith if EndPorn's targeted demographic even exists at Dartmouth. "There have been a handful of people at our meetings," he nodded. "We hope to keep the numbers small so people will feel more comfortable." To eradicate the menace of porn addiction, the members of EndPorn use the strategy of partner accountability recommended by xxxchurch. The site offers, at no charge, a downloadable program that will scan the user's internet browser for sites of questionable taste, and will then send a report of such visits to the e-mail account of his assigned buddy. The partners meet once or twice a week to discuss their respective success in abstaining from pornography.

In an effort to help relieve the tension from the subject of masturbation, the ingenious founders of xxxchurch (who refer to themselves exclusively as "The Goofballs") claim that God kills a kitten every time someone masturbates. This way, one can casually ask a friend, "Hey, kill any kittens lately?" and not feel awkward about it! (In case anyone particularly stupid logs onto the website, the Goofballs make sure to add a disclaimer that God does not actually kill kittens—"It's just a great way to think about this issue in a non-threatening way.")

As I alluded to earlier, in many senses it is unfortunate that EndPorn, which seems to be a harmless and well-meaning group, chose to associate their message so closely with that of xxxchurch—although during our interview Mr. Smith categorically denied any affiliation with the site or any common ground between the two groups beyond their disapproval of pornography. (Though personally opposed to masturbation, he claimed that the group itself had no official stance on the subject).

First of all, the Goofballs seem a little dull. Perusing their website will turn up brilliant understatements such as, "In the porn industry, it's not shocking to see girls with no clothes on, it's almost expected." They temper subtlety with hyperbole: "A little porn is like a little heroine [sic]." And no, I do not think any sort of double entendre is intended. Conversely, in a bit of word play that would make Nabokov jealous, Mr. Smith closed a response to a piece of hate mail with the phrase, "porn is too hard to beat on your own."

On a more serious note, xxxchurch espouses the sort of fanaticism that, along with ostracizing itself from the mainstream audience it seeks to reach nationwide, would not sit well here in our tolerant and permissive community of Dartmouth College. Most notably, one section of the site takes an egregious potshot at homosexuals: "Women are beautiful because that's the way God made them. We are naturally attracted to them. If you are not, then there is probably another website out there to help you deal with that problem."

Another part of the site, dubbed the "NoHo Zone," offers a pledge for girls to take to be modest:

I, [state your name], promise to the best of my ability not to dress, buy clothes or act like a Ho. Clothes I should try to avoid buying or wearing: tight pants that are cut so low that when I bend over you can see my g-string or butt crack, tight half shirts that show my six or not-so-six pack, tight shirts that are low cut to show my cleavage or short shorts that you can see my butt cheeks in.

In my conversation with Mr. Smith, he agreed that the skimpy state of women's fashion only compounds the problem for men dealing with lust. "Girls dressed like that don't help guys who want not to see them as objects," he said. However, in a gesture of rationality not made by the Goofballs, he added, "The fault, or the responsibility, isn't theirs though."

I once overheard a coquettish male student tell a voluptuous blonde that she had a beautiful mind. When not dabbling in sarcasm or condescension myself, I like to think that I can see a good-looking girl and appreciate her good looks without any uncontrollable urges. There is a certain aesthetically pleasing value to a beautiful girl that transcends sexuality. Admittedly, a line exists where a girl stops looking pleasant and starts looking like she is in heat, and Mr. Smith might be justified in his worries that this boundary seems to allow for a bit more skin to be shown each time spring rolls around. Of course, most heterosexual men, I think, will respond to his concerns in the same way that sixth-graders respond when the kid in the front points out that teacher forgot to collect the day's homework.

As a Roman Catholic, albeit a fairly poor one, I have to sympathize to a certain extent with the values of EndPorn. However, we part company where they hope to help students end their addiction to porn and I, on the other hand, find the concept of an addiction to porn amusing. How the hell does that happen? Is it the product of some twisted rationalization that a furious and decadent few minutes in front of the computer screen is any less lustful than a one-night stand? If the experience is meant to take the place of sex, is it anything other than an attempt to fornicate, only without the necessary means?

I have always felt pity for female porn stars and strippers—no joke. But pornography is such a repugnant and worthless product of mankind that I feel more than slightly inclined to chuckle at the thought of it being a moral hurdle for anyone. Of course, I should not be so insensitive—the mere prospect of my mom reading this article makes me nervous.