Barrett's Mixology: The Coleman

By Joseph Rago | Friday, June 11, 2004

2 oz Light Rum ("only the finest") 2 tsp Sugar ("pure cane") 1/2 Lime ("fresh from the orchard") 3 Fresh Mint Sprigs ("only fresh sprigs") Chilled Club Soda ("preferably imported")

Best when prepared by an indentured servant. In a tall thin glass, crush part of the mint with a lobster fork to coat the inside. Add the sugar and lime juice (hand-squeezed) and stir thoroughly. Add rum, ice, and top off with club soda. Garnish with a mint sprig and slice of lime.

I was invited to a well-heeled club for drinks with Coleman, my old friend since my prep-school days. Coleman is one of those independently wealthy fellows—a lavish spender (he once shelled out for a gold-plated stapler, top of the line), an exclusive connoisseur of luxury foods, the kind of guy who's always had his ass wiped by servants with warmed hand-towels, and so forth. I found him in a high-backed leather chair, fresh out of breath from flogging the help. In an off-hand manner, he launched into one of his lengthy anecdotes about his travels. "Was I scuba diving in Bora Bora or hunting the natives in Boliva—no, come to think of it, I was hiking the foothills of Cienfuegos in Cuba. Next thing I know I'm made by a ruthless gang of international smugglers, thirsty for the handsome ransom my parents were sure to answer. They gave chase and eventually cornered me in a bazaar. Their leader dragged me into a back alley and pressed his rusted scimitar against the flesh of my throat, and I thought it was the end." "What happened," I gasped with bated breath. "Well," he continued, "luckily I had my wits about me. I reached into my satchel, and pulled forth the only weapon I knew how to wield: a wad of money. I tossed it into the face of my assailant, and, while that wretched street urchin desperately snatched at the bills, I sauntered off unscathed. I entered the nearest cantina and ordered the most expensive mojito the barista could fix me." We had a good laugh over that one. Then, with a desultory wave of his hand, Coleman summoned over two more of his servants. He ordered one to fix us a round of mojitos, and the other to crouch down, as he needed an ottoman.

Barrett's Mixology: The Coleman

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