Ramsay Named Croquet Champ

By Alston B. Ramsay | Friday, June 11, 2004

After a tumultuous term plagued by wet weather and tough field conditions, Croquet League Founder and President Alston B. Ramsay declared himself the undisputed Dartmouth Croquet Champion. "I was undefeated, and, quite frankly, no one came close to beating me," Mr. Ramsay explained. "I played on teams by myself, with a partner, with two partners, and still no one had a chance."

— The Croquet League's new President —

The most thrilling day of the season came early Easter morning when the croquet League, dressed to the nines, set up a meat smoker and partook in tasty libations in front of Baker Library. After an amateur match that saw Review Managing Editor Nathaniel Ward and Vice President Alana Finley soundly defeat the competition, more experienced players took the field for a rare three-team match. After a hard-fought battle, Messrs. Ramsay and T. Henry Camp, who served as the League's Chief Strategist, emerged victorious after bruising encounters at the turning and finishing stakes. "We started off slowly, but our game excels at the turning stake," said Mr. Camp. "Alston's and my strategic experience is a huge boon when multiple balls complicate the field—and when we determine where the sticky wickets are."

The greatest controversy of the day, however, came over Daniel Linsalata's sartorial decision to break out the seersucker suit. Though some argued this was a breach of protocol before Memorial Day, Mr. Linsalata successfully argued that Easter croquet was a special event: "Clearly, when it's Easter and the most important match of the season, I want to be dressed in proper croquet attire," he said.

At the close of the season, Mr. Ramsay, who also founded the Southern Society and served as that organization's President for two years, was crowned the league's Most Valuable Player. He was thrilled with the outcome: "In some respects, my whole life has been building to this moment, and I'm glad the league decided to recognize my contributions to this great sport." T. Henry Camp, known on the field for his back-handed, sly verbal manipulations, murmured, "Prima Donna," but perked up when he was named the Most Cunning Player and won the coveted Best Meat Smoker award.

Mr. Ramsay also announced next year's officers at the banquet: President Daniel Linsalata, Prime Minister Kale Bongers, Security Warden Kevin Hudak, and Tea Matron Courtney Andree. "I'm confident that these four will keep the league strong and robust," he said. "I expect Dartmouth's team to remain the strongest college croquet team in the nation."

Ramsay Named Croquet Champ

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