Monday, September 20, 2004
Volume 25, Issue 1

All That Remains.

I certainly don't like the way Dartmouth's administrators have governed. But have they really affected my time here or my abiding fondness for the place? Not a whit—not a whit. Right now, you have four or five years at the greatest school on the face of the earth. I can't imagine being anywhere else. And after a while, whatever your politics, I don't think you'll be able to either.

What is a College Education?

There's good news and bad news. The good news is that it is possible, yes possible, to get a college education at Dartmouth. The bad news is that the institutional Dartmouth will not tell you how to go about it.

The Wheat: Dartmouth's Best Professors

The Review highlights notable profs.

And the Chaff: Dartmouth's Worst

Many unsuspecting freshmen choose Garrod's Education 20 course because it is hailed in certain circles as "the best class at Dartmouth." Others stumble into the class expecting an easy A for mastering Horton Hears a Who. You will, alas, be seriously disappointed if you anticipate either. All assignments are graded by upper-class education minors and required to be endlessly re-written with little explanation. Garrod himself does not apologize for his political biases and is wont to show them, presenting as undisputed fact arguments for his pet liberal causes.

Dartmouth's Worst Prof: Shelby Grantham

Once, while lecturing on the racism of white band-aids, a student suggested that it was not racism that drove corporations to make white band-aids, but profit. Grantham proceeded to silence him by calling him "a white supremacist." After class, she sent an e-mail to all her students to clarify her comments—and called his views those of a white supremacist again.

Courses of Note

None of the following courses have prerequisites. We provide here course reviews of a few of the introductory courses you are likely to consider, and a few smaller, upper-level courses that have met with consistently excellent reviews over the past few years. They are truly some of Dartmouth's best.

The Greeks Shall Inherit the Earth

Presented here for your consideration and enjoyment are brief pen-portraits of Dartmouth's venerable fraternites and sororities. Some might accuse us of trafficking in generalities; to our defense, we hope that these sketches will serve as fine, humorous introductions to the true hardword of the College. Astute readers may notice that the photo-graphs are somewhat out-of-date. In fact, most are culled from the Dartmothiana of the late nineteenth-century. Many of the residences have since been rebuilt.

A Freshman Sports Primer

No one will confuse Dartmouth's sports scene with that of a Big Twelve or SEC school, but sporting events are still an integral part of campus life. Nowhere else can you find a group of fraternity brothers chanting the theme from Nintendo's RBI Baseball whenever a player crosses the plate or deride your fellow Ivy Leaguers with chants of "Princeton's in New Jersey." And hopefully Keggy the Keg will follow up his successful first year with more appearances this sports season.

You Paid For It: College Excess

In fact, who knows—you might actually enjoy their late-night bashes and zany performers. Just know that you don't have to do what the administration wants you to do.

Lost Songs of Old Dartmouth

Presented here for your consideration and enjoyment is a selction of the songs of which the present administration does not approve but which were sung by generations of Dartmouth students. Many of these songs were prohibited or altered because they were deemed offensive, tawdry, or insensitive. Still, these songs recall a different time and a different caliber of College spirit.

The Last Word

Be a giver. You were admitted to Dartmouth because you were great—valedictorians, captains, and club presidents. So chances are, you're going to be in a position in your lives where people look at you for leadership. In the past, being great meant you had lead by giving orders. Today it means you can just lead by giving.
— Jeffrey Immelt, at Dartmouth