The Last Word

Monday, October 4, 2004

I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous." And God granted it.
—Voltaire

I will have naught to do with a man who can blow hot and cold with the same breath.
—Aesop

I have the heart of a child. I keep it in a jar on my shelf.
—Robert Bloch

When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. And that is my religion.
—Abraham Lincoln

The people who cast the votes do not decide an election, the people who count the votes do.
—Joseph Stalin

Why was I born with such contemporaries?
—Oscar Wilde

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
—Mark Twain

They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.
—Benjamin Franklin

A liar should have a good memory.
—Quintilian

All Reformers, however strict their social conscience, live in houses just as big as they can pay for.
—Logan Pearsall Smith

College isn't the place to go for ideas.
—Hellen Keller

He wins every hand who mingles profit with pleasure.
—Horace

The best way to keep one's word is not to give it.
—Napoleon Bonaparte

Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another.
—H.L. Mencken

Partying is such sweet sorrow.
—Robert Byrne

My country owes me nothing. It gave me, as it gives every boy and girl, a chance. It gave me schooling, independence of action, opportunity for service and honor. In no other land could a boy from a country village, without inheritance or influential friends, look forward with unbounded hope.
—Herbert Hoover

Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
—P.J. O'Rourke

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art...It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.
—C.S. Lewis

Watch out for the fellow who talks about putting things in order! Putting things in order always means getting other people under your control.
—Denis Diderot

Nobody can give you freedom. Nobody can give you equality or justice or anything. If you're a man, you take it.
—Malcolm X

I can hire one half of the working class to kill the other half.
—Jay Gould

That all men are equal is a proposition which, at ordinary times, no sane individual has ever given his assent.
—Aldous Huxley

I once said, "We will bury you," and I got into trouble with it. Of course we will not bury you with a shovel. Your own working class will bury you.
—Nikita Khrushchev

O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet.
—Saint Augustine

Coal is a portable climate.
—Ralph Waldo Emerson

The same principles which at first lead to skepticism, pursued to a certain extent bring men back to common sense.
—George Berkeley

The Last Word

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