Week in ReviewIndians Enjoy Columbus During the first hour of Columbus Day—a national holiday not officially recognized by Dartmouth—American Indian students gathered on the Green. While marching from the NAD house, students played drums to 'commemorate' their heritage. The Indians disagreed about how to emphasize the event: Josh Clause '05 pointed out that Columbus' arrival signaled the beginning of the near-extermination of his ancestors; others maintained the event was about 'fun.' While hammering on drums at midnight might not effectively raise awareness about alleged genocide, it certainly elicits complaints—S&S shut down the event within the hour, because of the noise.
In a rare demonstration of common sense, the College announced the establishment of a nine-member committee to review its current alcohol policies. This response to the absurd alcohol regulations, detailed in the last Review, is a sign of how wide the gap remains between Student Activities Commissar Linda Kennedy's concept of student life and the existing reality on the campus. Despite this conciliatory gesture it remains to be seen whether the committee is just a red herring, given that only three of the board's six members are chosen by students (Rob Freiman, Mallory Fosdick, and Bryan Thomas); the rest are hand-picked by the Administration. President Wright explained he did not view "alcohol policies that deal more with counting and estimating" particularly helpful in regards to student-administration relations. Hearteningly, he also mentioned support for lowering the drinking age to eighteen, saying he finds it "unfortunate we find ourselves in the position that we enforce a law that most of us believe doesn't treat students as adults."
As students await the implementation of round two of the Student Assembly's bike lending program they will be pleased to note that the likely future of the notion is not particular to Dartmouth alone. University police at Purdue University of West Lafayette just pulled the brakes on that school's bike lending program. Designed to discourage theft, Purdue's policy of floating twenty-five bicycles around the campus ran into trouble when students started stealing the gold painted transports. Though police claimed most of the bikes were in fact returned, many of those remaining were rendered useless as anything but decadent modern sculpture. While such reports would appear to not bode well for Dartmouth's second foray into communal travel options, the program is virtually guaranteed to provide a short-lived period of sublime ecstasy.
Early October saw the first Fall term fraternity rush in three years, and it did not disappoint. This rush had the best turnout in recent memory: Alpha Chi Alpha had 24 sunk bids; Alpha Delta, 21; Bones Gate, 12; Chi Gamma Epsilon, 21; Chi Heorot, 25; Gamma Delta Chi, 11; Kappa Kappa Kappa, 20; Phi Delta Alpha, 19; Psi Upsilon, 24; Sigma Alpha Epsilon, 18; Sigma Nu, 14; Sigma Phi Epsilon, 21; and Theta Delta Chi, 28. Given such a turnout the IFC is unsure as to whether the Spring and Winter terms will have a formal rush period.
Recently, an unnamed employee of the College apparently suffered a spell of Hantavirus. It was believed the fellow contracted the disease during a stay in one of Dartmouth's cabins in the Second College Grant; concern was sufficient to warrant a campus-wide e-mail from the College. Contact with rodent waste causes the non-contagious disease, and it would have been New Hampshire's first case—had the man actually contracted the disease. Later tests conducted by the New Hampshire Department of Health and Human Services were negative.
Dartmouth recently announced the selection of Jeffery Horrell as the College's next Dean of the Libraries, a position which has remained vacant since last January. Starting February he will assume his new responsibilities, managing nine libraries, 175 staff members and an annual budget close to $20 million. No stranger to Dartmouth, Horrell ran the College's Sherman Art Library during the early 1980s; he returns to Dartmouth after serving as Harvard's Associate Librarian for Collections, where he worked since 1992. In addition to having twenty-five years of library experience, Horrell has also dabbled in the study of photographic history. A search committee chose him from a pool of fifty candidates, putting an end to a months-long selection process. He will replace intern Librarian John Crane, who stepped in after the controversial and unexpected resignation of former Dean Richard Lucier. Mr. Horrell will become the eighteenth Librarian in College's history.
On October 5th, the College broke the tragic news that Collis Miniversity's most tantalizing offering—Couples Massage—would not run this term. Administrators cited scheduling conflicts amongst enrollees for the course's removal, though a more obvious reason is apparent: lack of enrollees.
This fall is shaping up to have remarkably high casualties amongst college students who drink. Thus far five underclassmen, spread across four states, died from alcohol poisoning. Four of the students were under 21, three died in Greek houses, and all five were left by friends to 'sleep it off.' Perhaps the most notable fallen soldier is Lynn Gordon Bailey Jr., an ex-student at the University of Colorado, and a former pledge of Chi Psi fraternity. His initiation into the brotherhood required a night of imbibing whiskey and wine, which was evidently too much for poor Bailey. After losing consciousness, his brothers kindly provided him with a bucket, before using Sharpie markers to adorn his face with sketches of male genitalia.
All Greek houses at Colorado State University have gone dry in the wake of a string of alcohol-related deaths during pledge period (see above). The sweeping changes will be implemented at all twenty-three fraternities and fifteen sororities, although only twenty of those organizations have physical plants. Although the program, voted upon by the Presidents of the Greek organizations, calls for all alcohol to be removed within four weeks, some students are skeptical. Said one Sigma Chi, "It is achievable in four years, not four weeks." After four years, all who had lived without the alcohol-free policy would be gone. In the meantime, houses found in possession of alcohol face derecognition by CSU, and possible revocation of their national charter. The plan was chosen in favor of an alcohol education program which would focus on "not dying."
After months of intense competition amongst more than sixty cities, Cincinnati, Ohio, has been selected to be the host of the Beer Hall of Fame. The Hall will compromise nearly 75,000 square feet of restaurants and tasting areas, in addition to 35,000 for micro-brewing activities. City planners are touting the project as essential for the revitalisation of the downtown area, and anticiipating several million vistors per year. Indeed, the Chamber of Commerce has proposed a new tourist slogan: "Cincinnati—Come for the beer, stay for the drunken race riots."
Dartmouth's Friday Night Rock—a weekly event where the Programming Board uses free beer to lure students into FUEL Nightclub, then subjects them to the performances of sub-mediocre local musicians—is more successful than ever. On October 8th, the College experienced an astonishing "TWO FLOORS OF ROCK" during which both FUEL Nightclub and Collis Commonground featured Rock concerts. FNR, keep up the good work!
A University of Louisiana at Lafayette professor was banned from the campus last week, and ordered to take a psychiatric evaluation after threatening his students. According to eyewitness accounts, physics professor Louis Houston began yelling obscenities shortly after class began and threatened to kill any student who dared rise from his seat. He subsequently slapped a female student and proclaimed to the class that he was God. Students reported Houston to security after class ended, and he was summarily brought in for questioning, while the classroom building was evacuated. Classes were canceled for the rest of the day, and Houston has been involuntarily detained in a mental hospital while the University deliberates his employment status. Students of Shelby Grantham and Ronald Edsforth will be familiar with this sort of behavior. |
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