Mixology

By Daniel Linsalata | Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Summit County Suicide

Tequila
Orange Juice
Tennessee Whiskey
Sprite
Agave Juice

Mix equal parts of all ingredients in a McDonald's cup, and stir with straw. Consume only in bars or passenger seat.

My father and Uncle Ed have long suffered from a terrible skiing addiction, forcing them to make annual trips Vail before either of them could afford to. They embarked on these trips, usually in early January, when the roads were worst, with a marvelous lack of foresight. They met at the Denver Airport (the old Stapleton one, not the new one), carrying little more than their skis (back in the days of non-releasable bindings), boots, and a few changes of underwear. Renting the cheapest car they could find, they would buy a case of beer at the nearest gas station and head out west on I-70. Now, this was in the days long before the construction of the Eisenhower Tunnel, so all traffic at needed to go up and over the Loveland Pass, a harrowing, exposed mountain pass at thirteen thousand feet with more than two dozen switchbacks in each direction. During the heaviest snow seasons, it was closed roughly half the time, forcing cars to simply pull over and wait it out, often for hours, if not days. Thus the beer.

By their third trip, my dad and Ed realized that the hundred mile jaunt usually included more than case worth of waiting time. This led to a considerable waste problem, as financial constraints typically confined them to sleeping in their car at the base of the mountain, and subsisting on a diet of oyster crackers and mustard, pilfered from the condiments stand.

Fortunately, in the middle of one trip, a group of locals introduced them to a more ecologically—if not economically—friendly alternative. Taking a late morning break after joining the locals skiing chest-deep in the Back Bowls, Ed mentioned the dilemma of the beer cans accumulating in the back seat. Very familiar with the problem, one of the locals, a German transplant, shared his secret, explaining that the drink is strong enough to achieve the desired effect, particularly at ten thousand feet, without leaving the imbiber too drained to ski the following morning. Or, as Jan put it, "It's just ze thing in a storm, vhen you're vaiting for ze lift to open ze next morning, ja." And the best part, "It is perfect to bring vith you on plane, and pour into McDonald's cup."

Mixology

Article Tools

Related Articles