The Week in ReviewEdsforth Correx To clarify several factual inaccuracies in last week's Week in Review piece, "Edsforth Rehired" [TDR 2/1/05]: Professor Ronald Edsforth is a "Visiting Professor," which is not a tenure-track position. He will be teaching two M.A.L.S. courses this year, as well as "American Economic and Business History" and a War and Peace Studies course this spring. Professor Edsforth will teach another history course next year.
At the end of November, Dartmouth Dining Services announced that it would no longer purchase tomatoes, as they had apparently become prohibitively expensive. Here, in its entirety, is the unsigned D.D.S. announcement to students concerning the matter:
The Student Activities Office has launched a new initiative for students known as 'stuff2do.' The program, run by Director of Student Activities Linda Kennedy, maintains a website listing upcoming campus events. This puts stuff2do in direct competition with the 'Circuit,' an equally-useless service offered by the Buzzflood.
This term, the Dartmouth College Republicans reserved "conservative-safe zones" in which they could watch the Inauguration and the State of the Union address without anyone disagreeing with them.
Members of Dartmouth's fraternties and sororities last term earned an average G.P.A. that nearly matched that of all students. Fraternities scored an average 3.20 and sororities 3.39, while among all students the average G.P.A. was a 3.28, according to figures released by the Office of Residential Life. Four fraternities, all six sororities, and two co-ed houses bested the undergraduate average. Alpha Phi Alpha rounded out the bottom of the Greeks, with a 2.51 average.
About a month ago the campus received an unsolicited e-mail message entitled "Mechanics of Men's Pleasure" and was greeted with a tantalizing question: "Are you a man, or do you have sex with men?" It was an advert for a workshop that promised to "educate about the biology and physiology of sex and sexual pleasure." The lecture was delivered by Curt Crane M.D., a third-year urology resident, and Ken Leslie, a Neuroscience Ph.D. Dr. Crane began the presentation with some slides. As a urologist, his specialty was penises, and he displayed diverse slides of penises of all color, sexual orientation, and religious preference. One slide depicted a bouquet of penises. Our correspondent, as he is wont to do in most lectures, did not pay significant attention, and our coverage of the biology and physiology of male sexuality is tenuous at best. Two weeks later, the Dartmouth student body was treated to the follow-up series that would examine the "Mechanics of Women's Pleasure." Kate Johnson, an OB-GYN resident at D.H.M.C., and Elizabeth Hirsch, manager of the Women's Health Program at Dick's House, presented the event with the aid of a some handouts and a Powerpoint presentation. There was some standard chatter of vaginas and their various accessories, including something about a "G-spot" and its "increased vascularity," which we are fairly certain is Latin for "myth."
The Recording Industry Association of America, notorious for doling out countless copyright infringement suits to colleges, universities, and unsuspecting high school students, has finally turned its eye on the dregs of Dartmouth's network users. In a February 2nd e-mail to the President's Executive Committee, College Chief Legal Counsel Robert Donin announced the receipt of notices from the R.I.A.A. detailing their intent to subpoena the College for the names and contact information behind six Dartmouth internet addresses. Donin writes, "While the odds of any individual being sued are small, the consequences are serious," including damage awards of $150,000 for each instance of copyright infringement, though most of the 6,000 cases nation-wide have been settled for as little as $3,000.
Offered spring term will be an interdisciplinary course considering the "symbolic and substantive roles of alcohol use in the lives of diverse individuals, families, and societies" entitled "Alcohol and Addiction Medicine: Symbols and Substance." The course features several Medical School professors, Professor of English Donald Pease, and former Surgeon General C. Everett Koop 1937. The faculty "will present research findings and lead students in discussion of selected works."
University of Colorado Ethnic Studies Professor Ward Churchill, a longtime "native rights advocate," recently fleshed out his previous descriptions of the victims of the September 11th attacks as "little Eichmanns" by stating that he believes it to be "a no-brainer" that "more 9/11s are necessary" in order to transform the American consciousness. Referencing America as "the beast," Professor Churchill notes that "you have to have an eradication of the beast" in order to make true progress. Churchill had been scheduled to speak at Hamilton College on February 3rd to salute the "gallant sacrifices" of the "combat teams" that struck the World Trade Center, but college administrators were forced to cancel the event because of security concerns. The interview where Churchill made his latest comments about the "matrix of atrocity" housed in the World Trade Center also features a glossy picture of him striking his best 1960s radical pose. Clad in camouflage, dark Abbie Hoffman-style sunglasses, and a black beret to cover his shoulder-length hair, Churchill brandishes an AK-47, ready for the onslaught of oppressive American imperialists. Not surprisingly, Churchill has been recognized by the United Nations for his work, and served as a delegate to the U.N. Working Group on Indigenous Peoples.
The theme of Winter Carnival this year is the "A Dartmouth Neverland: Second Snowflake on the Right and Straight On 'Til Morning." According to the Winter Carnival co-chairs, Jeffrey Bate '07 and Whitney MacFadyen '07, "While it is important to grow and mature within this intellectual community, we must not neglect our inner child. This year's Carnival will hopefully accomplish this goal through building snow sculptures, jumping into Occum Pond, supporting our athletes and performers, and the reminder of why Dartmouth is so special, particularly in the winter." Winter Carnival, it seems, has too fallen prey to the therapy-speak self-esteem culture of the rest of the College. The snow sculpture this year is a pirate ship. The campus was invited to submit various names for the vessel, which the Winter Carnival committee culled down for a campus-wide vote over e-mail:
The Editor in Chief of this newspaper suggested the sculpture be called "The Good Ship Phi." The committee, evidently, was less than enthused.
The following email made its way to the Editor of The Dartmouth Review, accompanied by a graphic proclaiming "we groom in the nude!"
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