Sustain This!

By Alexander Z. Rogers | Thursday, June 2, 2005

In a couple of weeks, Jim Merkel will assume the mantle of "sustainability director" of Dartmouth College. It is a coveted title, to be sure. The position requires Merkel to take the lead role in current Dartmouth environmental efforts, including the organic farm, composting, and recycling programs. In addition, it will be Merkel's responsibility to discern new ways to conserve energy and resources on campus, as well as to jumpstart any projects with those goals in mind. Unfortunately, little is really known regarding the man or what bright stars crossed his path on the way here. In lieu of being able to actually get a little one-on-one time with the ardent Planeteer – Merkel is currently engaged in a whirlwind bike tour of Spain promoting his new book, Radical Simplicity – arduous research, various secondary sources, and a little forest prayer have sufficed to give a somewhat less muddled picture of the gentleman who made "life energy" a household phrase and what it means to be Dartmouth's brand-new environment czar.

Legend has it that young Jim Merkel abandoned his outrageously successful career as an engineer and weapons trader, supposedly under the employ of enigmatic Cleveland-based contractor, TRW Inc., after a bout of conscience in the wake of the Exxon-Valdez debacle; he "decided Earth's problems were too serious to wait until retirement." Though none of this has actually been confirmed outside of the College and Merkel's own assertions, one has to admit the power of this tale of redemption in the face of those tireless spiritual vampires, monetary success and the Military-Industrial organ grinder. In fact, the most significant, amazing, dare-I-say fantastic accomplishment Merkel seems to have firmly nailed into his bio in the 14 years since he abandoned the 9-to-5 route is the saga of Jim Merkel.

The proudest feather in Merkel's cap is the oft-repeated boast that he has been able to sustain himself on a modest stipend of $5,000 a year and maintain a comfortably free lifestyle. Don't question this. Don't even bother to wonder, as Michael Dudley did on Power Line, whether Merkel then applies for the Earned Income tax credit when he files his return. All of this is irrelevant. What is relevant is that Jim Merkel is a goddamned titan of conservation. He knows how to do it, and for anywhere from $17.95 ($26.95 in Canada) you too can learn the secrets of equitable living on the mother planet from the visionary himself, or at least you'll be able to get the virtual experience by reading his book. Not convinced? Still hiding behind that "ozone-depleting" mini-fridge? Feeding off a delicious, biosphere apocalypse-inducing Caprisun of industrially pre-packaged Strawberry-Kiwi flavored lies proffered by corporate whores and their military goons that makes the audacious claim that comfortable survival on $5,000 a year is not only impossible, but undesireable? Allow me to introduce you to the $2,000 home.

Homes are an expensive luxury these days. Unless they're old money, people generally work long hours in carbon dioxide-spewing death factories, hot-air-producing offices, and other patently eco-unfriendly e -nvironments all to pay off that mortgage. Not willing to see this blatant abuse of life energy go on as before, our hero Jim utilized his extreme engineering genius to the test in an attempt to churn out a cheap, durable, and environmentally sound abode and office. The result, the "Straw Bale Café," is a feat of extraordinary imagination and limitless endurance. Construction was a simple affair. Modern contrivances were eschewed for natural, handmade tools on the assumption that the images that the sounds of these tools at work conjured, such as, in Jim's words, "the sound of a Ruffed Grouse beating its wings," were too beautiful to taint with anything as precise and mechanical as a power saw or wood drill. Well, actually they did use a chainsaw or two, but they needed to be used so it doesn't count. Given that, again, in Merkel's words, "over 100 small trees were needing to be put to death and the mother's [Earth's] skin [ground] would be torn open for sand, clay and lime used in the adobe finish," an extensive series of catch-all forest prayers on-site were deemed necessary, lest the mighty woodlands be offended. Finally, that nicety accomplished, the real work could begin.

Sure, a team of volunteers was necessary during construction, but nobody can be entirely self-reliant. Besides, if this had been Kerala, India, a "communist paradise" that Merkel explored on an Earthwatch Gaia Fellowship grant, he would probably not have even needed to stoop to the level of having to recruit others for help. In Soviet Kerala, where citizens get by on $500 a year (no doubt Merkel is slacking off by living on $5,000), people help you. That aside, with the aid of friendship labor and an inexhaustible patience, the approximately 300 square feet home/office/café was completed. Surrounded by the transcendent beauty of its provincial woodland setting, able to supply the tap with "delicious untreated, alive surface water" from a local source, and with just enough space left for the natural root cellar so lacking in many modern dwellings it's a wonder why more people are not clamoring for their own $2,000 home. I mean, come on people, it's a $2,000 home! After some mathematical calisthenics, Merkel was able to surmise that an average global citizen can live on such a homestead with a measly $14 a year. Of course, this is provided that you're too far out for the IRS (or potential robbers) to take notice and that the land is free, but how could anyone with a heart possibly put something as droll as a monetary value on patches of the Mother's skin?

So, having completed his own transformation, traveled to India (the round-trip plane ticket, if he didn't row across the oceans, no doubt drained his budget for months), penned a how-to guide for would-be followers (printed entirely on recycled paper and without toxic chemicals, I'm sure) and built everyone's dream house, the next target of Merkel's insatiable quest to save the world is Dartmouth College. What does the sustainability guru have in store for our humble campus? Sadly, that seems to be the one aspect of the new position no one, no matter how high up the administrative ladder, seems willing to elucidate. The primary focus of the College seems to be on finding ways of cutting costs, and the onus will be on Merkel during his three-year tenure to come up with means of doing that without simply resorting to the tired campaign slogans and informational reminders about switching off computers and light switches that were the highlight of Captain Planet episodes (supposing you stuck around the your cancer-belching, power-draining television until the end of the episode).

According to Mary Gorman, executive officer to the College Provost's Office, the whole venture is supported by the Provost's Venture Fund, which will seek to coordinate Merkel's projects with a staff and budget allocated by the Office of the Provost for "innovative and often interdisciplinary projects" (no doubt the Provost's views on sustainable salaries differ greatly from Merkel's). Along with staff culled from the Provost's office, Mr. Merkel will be expected to interact and work directly with students, faculty, and administrators from all departments. There seems to be a desire on the part of the College that his presence be immediately felt and that he hit the ground running with a slew of projects, though what any of them will eventually entail seems anybody's guess.

But again, don't question Jim Merkel. He knows what is best for you. However, although the Provost's office was reluctant to share the exact details of his salary and the allocation of his budget, given his much-touted $5,000 a year in living expenses you can be sure the guy isn't dipping too much into the fat. I mean, what would a guy who can sustain himself on so little do with an extra $30,000 a year? And even if the College were to simply insist they pay him extravagant middle class wages, I'm sure he would only accept in order to patch his roof with a clump of Benjamins. He's just that kind of guy.

Sustain This!

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