Week in Review

Sunday, June 12, 2005

TDR Epidemic Watch

An outbreak of conjunctivitis has recently resurfaced at the College, though the rate of infection among students does not compare to that of the epidemic in the spring of 2002. It is no surprise that the medical staff of Dick's House has been unable to determine the cause of the inflammation of the ocular membrane that is commonly referred to as pinkeye; the symptoms can be induced by allergic reactions as well as bacterial or viral infections. The same agents that lead to the sexually transmitted diseases gonorrhea and chlamydia can bring about an infection in the eye that may be manifest as conjunctivitis.

Babe Returns to Boyland

In an attempt to establish a tradition of its own, the current administration has invited alumna Gina R. Barreca '79 to speak at the opening of the upcoming summer term. Dr. Barreca, who went on to study at Cambridge and the City University of New York, bemoaned her time as an undergraduate at the College in her most recent book, Babes in Boyland: A Personal History of Coeducation [reviewed in TRD 5/13/2005]. The professor of English and feminist theory at the University of Connecticut will be speaking in Spaulding Auditorium on June 24, 2005 at 4:00 PM.

Goldstein '05 Drafted

Though Dartmouth Indians lacrosse goalie Andrew Goldstein '05 was recently the subject of an in-depth ESPN article for being a successful and openly-gay athlete, he is probably much happier with his recent selection by the Boston Cannons in the fifth round of the Major League Lacrosse Collegiate Draft. Recording 110 saves in his senior year, Goldstein is referred to as "one of the best ball stoppers in the nation" in his profile on the Dartmouth Athletics website. He started in goal for all thirteen games of his senior year.

Hillel Group to Restore Cemetery in Belarus

From June 13 through 25, Dartmouth Hillel will be sending nineteen students, including TDR Editor in Chief Michael J. Ellis, to undertake its fourth annual trip to Belarus, where the Dartmouth men and women will restore a Jewish cemetery in the Belarusian village of Lunna. Led by Rabbi Edward Boraz, the group of students will spend time repairing the neglected and oft-vandalized site, while also visiting Auschwitz. According to the trip's website, the project "[gives] students an opportunity to experientially explore places of Holocaust relevance [and to] reclaim the history of [a] once-thriving Jewish community."

Bible Literacy: Students Fail Humorously

Potentially the only thing sillier than a Southern Christian group's reaction to failing marks on a "Bible Literacy Report" would be the wild array of failing answers given by the 1,002 students surveyed. Although they fared almost as well as Dartmouth students did on a recently-administered Western Culture Quiz [see TDR 6/2/2005], the responses given by this pool of participants were entertainingly mixed and alarmingly pathetic. While seventeen percent of students surveyed by the Bible Literacy Project of Fairfax, Virginia answered that the "road to Damascus" was where Jesus was crucified rather than the site of Paul's conversion, twenty-eight percent erroneously believed that the imperative "do not divorce" was included among the Ten Commandments. Seventeen percent of students believed that Moses was either the chieftain of Jesus' Twelve Apostles, a pharaoh, an angel, the builder of the Ark or the first Pope. The group plans to publish The Bible and American Civilization, a text book for Biblical studies in intermediate schools, beginning this September.

Med-Mal Study Found To Be Irrelevant

A Dartmouth study recently reported that rising settlements for injured patients are not behind the rapidly climbing medical malpractice insurance rates. The study drew data from the National Practitioner Data Bank, which reports insurance company payments to doctors who had been sued. Unfortunately, this resource includes neither payments to hospitals nor the rising costs of insurance companies defending medical malpractice cases.

Amitabh Chandra, lead author of the report and assistant professor of economics at Dartmouth, agreed that "[his] study could have slightly underestimated payments." And how will this report change the paradigm? Not at all. "We don't think this study will have much effect because there are too many other studies that contradict it," said Dr. Donald Palmisano, past president of the American Medical Association.

Truth Really Is Stranger Than Fiction

This summer, ABC will air a new reality show entitled "The Scholar." The show pits a group of high school students against one another in a competition for a free four years of study at the college or university of their choice. The winner must be admitted to his desired school to receive the scholarship, and one can only hope that the contestants' performance on the show has no bearing on their admission. All of the contestants are highly qualified students, with GPAs and SAT scores that impress their mothers, but they do not possess the financial means to attend a top-tier institution. The practice of awarding under-privileged overachievers with large scholarships is hardly original, but filming, editing, and broadcasting the event is. Perhaps some lucky member of the class of 2010 will find himself living with a well-endowed celebrity.

Wright Knows Sports

College President James Wright was recently named to a National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) panel on the future of intercollegiate athletics. Specifically, Wright was recruited to serve on a subcommittee studying the "Implications of Academic Values and Standards." Not surprisingly, beleaguered Dean of Admissions and Financial Aid Karl Furstenberg did not make the NCAA's short list for any role in the new study.

New Student Housing To Be Alluringly Alliterative

Three of the new dormitories that will constitute the McLaughlin cluster now being built on the north end of campus will be given the names of the project's major donors: the Berry, Bildner, and Byrne families. The construction of the McLaughlin and Tuck Mall clusters of residence halls does not mean the administration intends to expand the student body. Rather, the new beds in these buildings may finally relieve the housing crunch that has existed since the admission of women to the College in 1972.

Adopt a Reviewer for Just Pennies a Day

Those who wish to assuage the feelings of guilt that stem from their privileged upbringing may join the Review's staff in contributing pasta and canned goods to the soon-to-be starving writer, Editor Emeritus Joseph Rago. After graduation, Rago will attempt to employ his peculiarly-extensive vocabulary to earn a living wage. Positive results are not anticipated, so please leave donations in Room One at Phi Delta Alpha Fraternity, where a donation-bin will be waiting.

Senior Giving Rate Swells

A revived senior class gift program garnered over $14,000 from the class of 2005 and achieved a participation rate of 53%. The participation rate improved greatly over the classes of 2004 (13%) and 2003 (28%). This year's campaign was marked by an aggressive strategy, focusing on pressuring fraternities and sororities to give en masse and awarding prizes for participation. The College trumpeted this increased participation to its alumni through a mass e-mail, which included a quote from graduating senior and Blabberforce-cum-Buzzflood founder Kabir Sehgal '05, who said that the class's high giving rate "shows that we're appreciative of our education and we're willing to give." While, on the surface, the tone is upbeat, it belies an air of desperation at the alumni base's declining giving rates.

Hufu a Runaway Success

Marketing mastermind Mark Nuckols Tu '06 appears to be enjoying a high level of success with the sales of his human-flavored meat alternative called Hufu. The popular new food item, which can be used as the main ingredient in such delicacies as Aztec human stew and Papua New Guinean Dumplings, is substantially backordered, according to the product's website, http://www.eathufu.com. Prospective quasi-cannibals-to-be must now wait an extra three weeks before they can try the imitation human flesh.

Out of Tune

Brothers of Alpha Chi Alpha fraternity held their spring formal at Mai Thai restaurant last Monday, above The Dartmouth Review's offices. Review staffers were serenaded by loud, out-of-tune renditions of "Living on a Prayer," "Stacey's Mom," and a variety of1980's classics.

Summer Issues

With many seniors staffers on campus, The Dartmouth Review will continue publication throughout the summer term. Summer isues of the Review are best perused with a large mint julep in hand.

Nostra Culpa

The rendering of quod erat demonstrandum in the June 2, 2005 issue of the Review was given colloquially as "It has been proven." A more literal translation could have read, "Which was to be proven," though anything approaching the meaning of the phrase as originally published was accepted.

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