Barrett's Mixology

By Thaddeus Olchowski '08 | Friday, April 7, 2006

Man-Out

Bourbon

Vodka

Mix in equal proportions to fill 12 oz. rocks glass. Man up, chug, man out.

It was the close of a long night of heavy consumption. One of the members of my party got up, and I thought he said, “I’m going to man out.” I was thrown into a fit of rage at the notion of such a preemptive departure by one of my guests. There is no telling what I might do in such a profound state of inebriation. I was eventually calmed when informed that the chap, Chauncey was his name, I believe, had actually said “I am going to the bathroom.” The fact the night of debauchery was not yet over was certainly occasion for celebration, and thus I created an entirely new drink. It was to be in honor of the young lad I had just unjustly cursed. I rose from my seat and opened the bar, regrettably finding only two bottles with remaining eau de vie: Jack Daniels and Kettle One. I poured their contents in equal proportions into two glasses; one for Chauncey and one for myself. Stirred lightly and to be consumed rapidly, this drink was a juggernaut of sorts. I called it the Man-Out. Following a three-count, we each consumed our entire portions in one courageous gulp. The potion tasted like the devil and kicked like him too. My face turned into a grotesque knotted mass and tears streamed from my eyes. At the behest of my wife, Yvette, I expelled the concoction from my body with numerous, yet efficient, heaves. I retreated to the couch and consumed vast amounts of paté and crackers. Chauncey was not so fortunate. He started babbling incessantly about my brother-in-law and stumbled outside. We later learned that he was run over by a train. Man-Out indeed.

Barrett's Mixology

Article Tools

Related Articles