The Last Word

By G. Emily Ghods-Esfahani | Friday, January 12, 2007

One day men will look back and say I gave birth to the twentieth century.
—Jack the Ripper

Never look at the trombones, it only encourages them.
—Richard Wagner

All Hindu traders are very fat and delicious to a lion.
—Ernest Hemingway

I hate small towns because once you’ve seen the cannon in the park there’s nothing else to do.
—Lenny Bruce

There is no one who would have me—I can’t cook.
—Greta Garbo

She was what we used to call a suicide blond—dyed by her own hand.
—Saul Bellow

I don’t want to repeat my innocence. I want the pleasure of losing it again.
—F. Scott Fitzgerald

An intellectual is a person who’s found one thing that’s more interesting than sex.
—Aldous Huxley

A little still she strove, and much repented, and whispering, “I will ne’er consent”—consented.
—Lord Byron

It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
—George Burns

Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.
—Barbara Bush

All lovers swear more performance than they are able.
—William Shakespeare

Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
—Dorothy Parker

Impropriety is the soul of wit.
—W. Somerset Maugham

Facts are the enemy of truth.
—Don Quixote

She behaves as if she was beautiful. Most American women do. It is the secret of their charm.
—Oscar Wilde

The first man to compare the cheeks of a young woman to a rose was obviously a poet; the first to repeat it was possibly an idiot.
—Salvador Dali

Shakespeare is the happy hunting ground of all minds that have lost their balance.
—James Joyce

Hamlet’s experience simply could not have happened to a plumber
—George Bernard Shaw

Any idiot can face a crisis—it’s day to day living that wears you out.
—Anton Chekhov

Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking.
—H. L. Mencken

I have dreamed in my life, dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas; they have gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the color of my mind.
—Emily Bronte

Death destroys a man: the idea of Death saves him.
—E.M. Forster

I shall die, but that is all that I shall do for Death; I am not on his pay-roll.
—Edna St Vincent Millay

Of course God is endlessly multi-dimensional so every religion that exists on earth represents some face, some side of God.
—Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

The true pleasure of life is to live with your inferiors.
—William Makepeace Thackeray

A professor is someone who talks in someone else’s sleep.
—W. H. Auden

Writing is like prostitution. First you do it for love, and then for a few close friends, and then for money.
—Moliere

I believe that I am in hell, therefore I am there.
—Arthur Rimbaud

I call architecture frozen music.
—Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Someone asked me once: “How are you?” The answer was, “Fine. If you don’t ask for details.”
—Katharine Hepburn

He who laughs has not yet heard the bad news.
—Bertolt Brecht

Fashion is the science of appearance, and it inspires one with the desire to seem rather than to be.
—Henry Fielding

The Last Word

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