Original Article: http://dartreview.com/archives/2007/03/01/the_week_in_review.php
Thursday, March 1, 2007
Stam Committee Hears Arguments on Sports Scheduling
On February 24, the Stam Committee, a group appointed by President Wright to recommend a policy regarding Dartmouth athletics teams playing teams who still use Native American mascots and imagery (see TDR 11/28/06), sat through nearly two hours of discussion and debate on the matter. The committee, comprised of nearly a dozen professors, administrators, and students, and chaired by government professor Allan Stam, briefly explained their own goals, and then solicited input from the approximately forty audience members.
Stam highlighted the fact that an entire spectrum of options could be considered, from maintaining the status quo all the way to refusing to compete against schools with Indian mascots in any circumstances, even if that meant pulling out of a national championship game. Opinions presented by the audience covered every inch of this spectrum. In its background material, the committee noted that three Big Ten schools, Iowa, Minnesota, and Wisconsin, all have self-imposed prohibitions against playing schools with Indian mascots, but these policies all contain numerous exceptions for tournament play, multi-school competitions (such as track or cross-country meets), and “long-standing conference rivalries.”
Those most opposed to scheduling games against teams with Indian mascots typically cited the need to make Dartmouth students comfortable on their own campus, and to not tolerate racism from outsiders. The old fallback, “It’s just offensive,” was another favored argument.
Those more in favor of the status quo, or at least more moderate changes—primarily coaches and athletes—pointed to potential scheduling hurdles such a policy would create, as well as undue politicization of athletic teams. While few faulted the College for its interest in making such a political statement, many felt that sports teams are an inappropriate vehicle with which to do so, as it would distract from the focus upon competition and sportsmanship. Still others posited a litany of “What if?” scenarios, and questioned where the logical conclusion of such a policy would go. Many teams have minimal control over whom they compete against, particularly in national tournaments. Another student pointed out that the same logic could be applied to prohibit campus speakers that some may consider offensive.
Professor Stam gave no time line for the group to make its final recommendation to President Wright, but action is expected by the middle of spring term. Although the NCAA bars students from gambling, odds makers are currently offering even money on nothing changing.
SA Dons Veil of Objectivity
After months of uselessness, Student Assembly undertook a last-ditch attempt to save any remaining scrap of legitimacy by establishing a reform committee. The Student Government Task Force is a new committee that is supposed to review the state of student governing bodies on campus and propose its findings and recommendations to the Membership Internal Affairs Committee. The committee is made up of 8 students and one non-voting chairperson. Proponents of the legislation hail it as a step in the right direction to enact positive change. Opponents charge that the committee has a very high likelihood of quickly devolving into irrelevance.
Critics note that the mandate of the committee doesn’t include any kind of provision of real power. Any recommendations must be approved by MIAC—a suspicious premise for a committee that is, supposedly, an organ of internal criticism to remedy the inefficiencies of SA. The notion of making an internal Assembly structure the final authority on reform has the potential to trap ideas for progress because of the inherently self-interested nature of any bureaucratic structure. These same critics argue that the new Task Force is essentially a paper tiger: there is no timetable to provide an impetus for prompt action, and when the new committee finally comes up with its recommendations, MIAC could simply ignore them. Especially in light of the fact that the committee can continue to operate as long as it deems itself necessary, there may even be an incentive not to take prompt and decisive action.
Whether this latest initiative will result in positive change or simply as a convenient way to deflect criticism is yet to be seen.
ORL Arms Housing Time Bomb
As if there wasn’t enough roommate drama at Dartmouth already, the option for students to live in gender-neutral housing will be available in the Fall of 2007. The option, which allows students of opposite sexes to live together in singles, conjoined singles, and suites with individual bathrooms, has been lauded by many as a progressive step that allows people whose sexual orientations fall outside of the mainstream to find a comfortable social place and housing situation for future years. The “pilot” program, which will feature the opportunity for residents to host institutional whine-fests for Women’s and Gender Studies majors, aka “discussions” and “programs” dedicated to issues of gender identity, will be held on the ground floor of the newly constructed McLane building, making it appealing to not only marginalized students who need a chance to be accepted, but also sophomores with bad room-draw numbers who wouldn’t mind the chance to live in cushy, roomy new singles and two-room doubles. Good job, Student Assembly, for the coming up with the great (and super-logical) idea of gender-neutral singles, and kudos on offering mixed-sex suitemates living in “apartments” with individual bedrooms the chance to recreate the sitcom Friends right here in the frozen wastelands of Hanover.
Nowhere to Turn
Discontented staffers were recently given a reason to rejoice as President Wright announced the creation of an “ombudsman” office. The office will fill a gaping hole in the College’s bureaucracy. It was created to give staffers a place to go with their complaints. Previously their only outlets had been: human resources, their supervisors, department heads, or with the Equal Opportunity and Affirmative Action Office. With five different places for employees to go with their complaints, the administration hopes to squelch the possibility that any complaint go unheard.
Desai ’08 Named New TDR Editor
Lyme, New Hampshire played host to The Dartmouth Review’s annual changeover dinner on the Saturday of Winter Carnival. The next Editor-in-Chief of the paper will be Nicholas Desai ’08. Thaddeus Olchowski ’08 will continue to be President. TDR staffers, as well as board members Professor Jeffrey Hart, Robert Flanigan, and Chairman James Panero attended the event. The dinner conversation focused upon familiar topics: varying levels of sobriety, T.S. Eliot, and freshman indiscretions.
TDR Game Night: Spot the Irony
>Date: 18 Feb 2007 12:06:30 -0500
>From: NAACP
>Subject: NAACP-Monday!!!
>To: (Recipient list suppressed)
Care about activism, political, and social justice for all people? Want to be part of an action group? Want to be part of a historically and a currently powerful national movement? JOIN the NAACP this Monday for our first general secession of the year. Come to learn about our agenda and mission for the coming term!
Raiding Party Afoot
Monday afternoon Hanover Police did not respond to an apparent robbery behind the Hopkins Center, in which a Dartmouth Indians sweatshirt was stolen from a black truck with Missouri license plates and replaced with a handwritten ransom note: “Don’t wear Indian gear, you fucking racist.” While there are no officials suspects, individuals are on the lookout for a raiding party on horseback and hope to regain the sweatshirt through barter.
C.K.N.M.M.D.I.R.A.M.H.Y.T.V.O. Established
In the wake of Student Assembly’s approval to allocate funds for a down-payment on a “DartMoose” mascot that was never approved by the student body or the Student Athletics Advisory Committee, rumors have circulated about the creation of a Committee to Kidnap the New Moose Mascot and Drown It in the River After Making a Humorous YouTube Video of the Ordeal. Interested parties should stay tuned for details.
Home Plate to Carry ‘Fair Trade’ Bananas
Home Plate has cemented its reputation as Dartmouth’s feel-good dining option as it now carries only certified ‘fair trade’ bananas, following the course of campus coffee, which is also ‘fair.’ Consequently, the price of each fruit has risen. But it’s a mere ten cents more--a clearance sale on student righteousness!
“Hi, Mrs. Pelosi.”
A reader writes in:
Dear A.S. Erickson
So you’re willing to surrender all your erudition to the imposition of sharia law? What position can you imagine you would occupy in a seventh century world, other than that of one on your knees, awaiting the imminent severance of your head from your body (Daniel Pearl), as is the wont of those who intend to show maximum disrespect for the contrary ideas which have gotten you to such a place of privilege, i.e. Darthmouth U. It happened in Cambodia to anyone with an education, after 1975, and incidentally, 3 of my present wifes’ baby sisters (she was 8 years old in 1975, and the oldest) died in her arms in the flight to Thailand. Is there not enough sorrow caused by people who should be circumvented from imposing it? But obviously you are amenable to this possiblity.You can’t use your acute discernment to kindle an imagination which fills in the interstices of Steyn’s skeletal solutions?
In the meantime, don’t have children. They will be mercilessly tortured and murdered before your very eyes, such as the Lebanese child who was tied to her mother and father before they were yanked apart. Until she was separated. (Which I’m not willing to see happen to my four year old daughter.)
How can you accede to such conditions? You seem to agree that we will, but then why go on living?
It’s been a long time since I read “The Suicide of the West” (Abendlander), by James Burnham, and “Witness”, by Whittaker Chambers, but it seems the desire for self-immolation never dies...GET IT?
I just wish that you didn’t presume to conclude it for the rest of us (“The die is cast, and we have come up short”).
How can you people claim to be “for the children” when so obviously they mean nothing to the triumphant Islamist, and therefore need the protection of parents raised in a tradition diametrically opposed to the subjugation of thought imposed upon Muslims?
I’d appreciate an answer, point by point, Grandma Pelosi, but even more so from A. S. Erickson.
Respectfully (as much as I could be, which wasn’t much, I guess, sorry) yours,
Bryan Gudmundson
Brooklyn Park, MN
Wiesel Assaulted by Sociopathic Blogger
In an act of pure, malicious spite, an attention hungry anti-Zionist blogger assaulted human rights activist and Nobel Prize winning writer Elie Wiesel in a San Francisco hotel on February 1. The assailant, an ardent Holocaust denier, had been stalking Wiesel for weeks with the intention of forcing him to renounce the Holocaust on video.
Wiesel was in an elevator when a young man requested an interview with him. When Wiesel suggested that they go to a public place, the assailant attempted to drag the 78-year-old man into the out of the elevator into the hallway. Wiesel managed to escape unharmed.
The blogger, who described Wiesel as “a genocidal liar”, has yet to be found. The posting found online describing the event, however, suggests that the poster is not the same person as the relatively young assailant, as the poster seems to have a great degree of knowledge about the Holocaust denial movement and the arguments presented by “scholars” who forward the idea. It has been speculated that Wiesel was targeted because he represents the antithesis of any anti-Semitic, Holocaust revisionist movements that exist in the status quo by embodying justice, truth, and human dignity and opposing ignorance and coercion at every turn.
Wiesel delivered the keynote address at Dartmouth’s Commencement ceremonies in 2006.
Tired of the Same Old Clubs
Students at the University of Indiana South Bend have created what will surely be seen by future generations as something revolutionary. As with all groundbreaking revelations, this one is breathtaking in its simplicity. What is this creation, which defies all imagination? The Nap Club. The idea came to President Michael Duttlinger during class one day. Awaking from an in-class nap to find his desk covered in his own drool, he knew there must be a better way, and a way there was. Stumped by how to solve his dilemma, he hit upon the idea of The Nap Club. Using funds he obtained from the University, Duttlinger outfitted a room with air mattresses as well as desks and chairs specifically for the purpose of napping. The new club was a success; however, the move to introduce a chapter here took a hit when it was pointed out that real beds are more comfortable than chairs or air mattresses.
Sorority Hates Fatties, Minorities
Last week, the national officers of the Delta Zeta sorority interviewed the sisters of the DePauw University chapter—under the guise of testing “commitment”—in an attempt to analyze what wrong with the image of the house. Their results were nothing short of groundbreaking. Apparently, ugly fat girls are a social detriment. Of the thirty-five members, a full twenty-three were expelled, leaving only twelve women remaining. Of the remaining twelve, six of them resigned in protest, citing the need to have ugly girls around to boost their own self-esteems. The six remaining women are not only very attractive, but no longer have their fat counterparts around to soil the evening.
On a more serious note, it should be noted that the national office of the sorority did take the dramatic step of expelling all the minority sisters of the sorority as well. Fat girl jokes are one thing, but institutionalized racism is never cool.
Making a Deal with the Devil
On Sunday February 11, 2007, Harvard University named its first-ever female president. Drew Gilpin Faust was named the successor to the controversial Larry Summers who was ousted in June of last year after taking a stance on the divisive issue of differences between men and women in academia. Ironically, Dr. Faust was previously the dean of the Radcliffe Institute, which, since being annexed by Harvard, has focused on the study of gender issues. With the appointment of Faust, the Ivy League has officially become gender neutral. Now, four out of eight of America’s oldest and most prestigious colleges and universities are headed by women. Because of the secrecy that preceded Faust’s appointment, one can only assume that she had to make quite the bargain to secure her position. However, Dr. Faust has made several statements to make it abundantly clear that she is to be treated with equality, the same as any other president of Harvard. To date, this request has been upheld with one exception: Dr. Faust had to sign her contract in blood.
Mephistopheles was unavailable for comment.
NYU Prank Yields Expected Fallout
On February 22nd, all hell broke loose in Washington Square Park as INS agents tracked down a dangerous illegal immigrant on the run. Dozens scrambled from person to person hoping to spot the lone bystander branded as an alien. Naturally, as one would expect from New York City, droves of unhinged hippies came out of the woodwork to protest with picketing, signs, and unwitty slogans. What made this Thursday different was that it was composed entirely of NYU students.
Announced a week prior, the campus College Republicans prepared a prototypical college scavenger hunt in the Park, this time, to raise awareness of illegal immigration. Students at NYU could volunteer as “INS” agents, a throwback to the former Immigration and Nationalization Service, and hunt through the foliage for a hiding student with an “Illegal Immigrant” name tag. Within 24 hours of the event’s announcement, hordes of radicals decried the demonstration as “racist” and “discriminatory.” Of course, discriminating between those who enter the country illegally and legally is a basic function of law enforcement, and the liberal protesters were the only ones bringing race up. Despite the utter insensibility of the protesters’ positions, the rally continued for almost half an hour before police mediated.
The scrimmage continued for hours before a cameo by Janet Reno, who scooped up the poorly named faux-immigrant Elián within minutes.