Sunday, October 14, 2007

Thoughts on the Recent Controversy

I’m not questioning their hearts; I’m sure they are all trying to make Dartmouth the best “university” in the world. I’m questioning their means. I’m questioning the casuistry. I’m questioning their lack of humility.

The Trustee-Alumni Dust-Up Round-Up

Since the Executive Committee of the Association of Alumni (AoA) voted to sue the College, many statements and letters have been promulgated and circulated. What follows are choice excerpts in chronological order.

Arrivederci, Italian Program

We can continue telling prospective students that they will get the best undergraduate education in the world here at Dartmouth and the most unfettered access to outstanding faculty, unless that is they want to study speech, Italian, or whatever else comes next.

Interview: John Steel ’54, The First Successful Petition Trustee

Steel: In my opinion, this was a most inappropriate and wrong decision on the part of the Board, to “preserve democracy” by reducing the vote of the alumni nominated Trustees from half to a third of the Board members.

Secret Documents of SEMP 2004

One often hears students lament that administrator’s don’t even try to understand the undergraduate culture. It’s not from a lack of trying. The Dartmouth Review recently acquired confidential documents published late in 2004. The documents, acquired from an anonymous source, show the administration putting quite a lot of time and energy into trying to understand the social phenomena of the Dartmouth campus.

The Non-Event of Convocation

Gone, it seems, are the days when the College President would offer the matriculating class some timeworn advice and send them on their way.

Orientation: Diverse Tedium

At last, on Sunday morning, matriculation took place. To some people it was an important ceremonial symbol of becoming a student and maybe some other things, but for most of the class it meant, finally, protection by campus Safety and Security. Any misdeeds before that point would have been prosecuted by the Hanover Police—bad news for any student who aspired to hang out.

Dem Debate Winner: Kucinich!

Obama’s behavior during commercial breaks proved the most surprising of the night however, for he approached the crowd in a near imperial manner and came across off-putting.

Why There Will Be No G.O.P. Debate

The efforts to get the Republican debate on campus have been marked from the beginning by missed opportunities. NBC never even reached the stage of talking to the candidates and tying them to a date.

Ron Paul, M.D. Speaks on Health Care

When Paul’s time at Dartmouth Medical School came to a close, the students responded by giving him a standing ovation. His message was simple: “Under the Constitution, government shouldn’t be in medicine.”

Goodbye, My Friend... Larry

It wasn’t quite the same thing at Food Court, either. Everyone ate there regularly. Larry’s genius was to make everyone feel like a regular.

Dropping Acid

Agendas, I thought, were things my parents, my guidance counselors, my teachers, the clergy at my church, my scout leaders, even the women I met at Mount Holyoke mixers, had for me. I hadn’t considered that agendas extended beyond the world of ostensibly responsible adults.

Where Have All the Jews Gone?

Naturally, at Stuyvesant, striving for grades was intense. You didn’t get into Harvard with Bs. Grades were posted on the wall outside the administrative offices. Once I received a 96 out of 100 on the New York State Algebra Regents Exam and my friends asked me if I had been sick.

It's the Arts—with Cate Lunt

We need more people yapping to each other about how cool art is. As a psychologist of human motivation who makes Marcel Proust look like Clive Cussler, my talents suggest that the “pay it forward” technique is the best way to proceed here. Here’s how it works. You’ve got an idea, viz. “Art is cool, fool.” Now you want the meme to reproduce. So, go ahead: accost a stranger, hopefully a normative-looking one, on the street, and give her or him the spiel in so many lapidary phrases. Then when they’re nodding and grinning like they’ve just inhaled like twenty cubic meters of cannabis-infused air, grab them quasi-dramatically by the shirt sleeve and sort of shriek into their ear, “Pay it forward.” Say it like that, italics and all, and then back away slowly, all the while making eye-contact, biting your lip, and nodding as if to convey, “Oh, yes. I just did that.”

The Last Word

People demand freedom of speech as compensation for the freedom of thought they seldom use.
—Søren Kierkegaard

Barrett’s Mixology

Old Fashioned
2 oz bourbon whiskey
2 dashes Angostura® bitters
1 splash water
1 tsp sugar
1 piece lemon-peel