The Week in Review

Monday, August 11, 2008

College to Shed its Charming Image

The College recently unveiled its new pet project, a $52 million Visual Arts Center. The new Arts Center will house the Studio Arts department and a newer version of Loew Auditorium. The building’s design, which has been a source of polarized debate, approaches 100,000 square feet and includes a walkway to the Green. Perhaps the project is Dartmouth’s way of completing a trio of new buildings that many consider “hideous” additions to campus: Berry library, the Hopkins Center, and, now, the new Visual Arts Center. It seems that the College is straining to shed its quaint New England town image and trying a hipper version of Williams. The town of Hanover currently lacks an architectural committee, so the townspeople of Hanover have been unsurprisingly hostile towards the plans and can do little to stop Dartmouth from going through with them, with the exception of the Planning Board. Construction is expected to begin in the fall of 2009. When asked to comment, one film major supported the new building’s urban aesthetic: “I’ll tell you, one thing is for sure. I’ll feel way cooler smoking outside of the new center than I do now, next to these quaint brick buildings all over campus. Three cheers for diversity!”

College Plays Musical Chairs with its Buildings

The Office of Residential Life received two houses on East Wheelock Street in a transfer from the College’s Real Estate Office. The two houses, which currently house faculty and staff, were transferred for the purpose of housing the AZD and Alpha Phi sororities. Renovations will begin this fall, and the sororities will be able to move in by the fall of 2009. The renovations are expected to make the houses more amenable to Greek life, for example by knocking down walls on the ground floor to make them more open. In a related story, members of Alpha Theta were forced out of their house this summer so the College could erect more walls.

We’re Going to be Rich! Filthy, Filthy Rich!

Ten to twenty years out of school, Dartmouth grads earn more money on average than the alumni of other American schools, according to a recent study compiled by PayScale.com. Edging out the second place Princeton alums, who make $131,000 a year, the average Dartmouth alumnus makes $134,000 ten to twenty years after his graduation. The findings are particularly remarkable considering that recent graduates (within the last five years) make $58,000—good enough for only 18th place when compared to their peers. Forbes, which reported the findings, largely attributed the success of Dartmouth graduates to the loyal and tight alumni network. Monica Wilson of Career Services, told Forbes that the success was based on the College’s success at creating well-rounded people. Dartmouth also placed well when schools’ top ten percent of earners were averaged, coming in second behind Yale.

Rolling in Green

The Dartmouth fundraising juggernaut keeps trundling along at a nice little clip. The College recently announced that they had passed the $1.1 billion mark, right on target. The so-called “Capital Campaign” is a seven-year fundraising initiative with the goal of raising $1.3 billion by December 2009. More than half of the money is said to be invested in the “recruitment and retention of faculty.” The professors aren’t getting quite as good a deal as it sounds—much of it is going to new academic buildings.

Stephen Colbert, Former Reviewer?

This past month, Dartmouth Alumni Magazine published a faux biography, written by Robert Sullivan ’75, about Comedy Central anchor Stephen Colbert, who has perpetuated the running joke that he attended Dartmouth as an undergraduate in the early eighties. IvyGate Blog called the article “antifunny” (irony at its best), although blogger Mike Bechek obviously can’t appreciate the inside references to Dartmouth culture. According to the article, Colbert fraternized at the Tabard, where he spent his days obsessed with playing Dungeons and Dragons, and impressed professors James Wright and Jeff Hart. What’s more, Sullivan pits Colbert in the midst of the brouhaha of the early Review days, including the assault on the shanties on the Green in 1986. In fact, Colbert found heroes in the Review founders, tried to follow in the footsteps of Dinesh D’Souza, and had an immense attraction to Laura Ingraham.

Overall, the story isn’t very funny, although it isn’t antifunny. Rather, it’s an entertaining bit written for recent alumni who still get their news from the Colbert Report. The article also makes reference to a system of hazing at the Review, which, of course, never happens.

A Sporting Triumph (Sort Of)

Topher Bordeau, insanely hardcore erstwhile coach of the Big Green’s Heavyweight Men, recently coached the USA’s national eight to a gold medal at the World Under-23 Rowing Championships in Brandenburg, Germany. Earlier this summer, the squad had taken to the water for a training camp at Dartmouth on the Connecticut River, undoubtedly the finest stretch of water your correspondent has ever rowed. It is unlikely, however, that they were subjected to quite the same regime as Dartmouth’s varsity athletes. A former oarsman, possibly suffering from PTSD, spoke of a ‘triathlon’ involving a swim across the Connecticut and back, a 50 mile bicycle ride to Moosilauke and finally a mountain run.

The men’s heavyweight eight is the blue ribbon event of any regatta and has traditionally been the fief of US rowing—and by far the most important for national selectors. Despite losing out on the victor ludorum prize to a remarkably talented German team that won no fewer than five events on their home water, victories in both the men’s and women’s eights will surely be regarded as ‘mission accomplished’ ahead of this summer’s main event in Beijing. Dartmouth will be represented in the Olympic Regatta by Dominic Seiterle ’98, who will be competing for the ominously powerful Canadian eight, hot favorites for the gold medal.

Unfortunately, no Dartmouth men made the heavyweight U23 crew, although Anthony Fahden ’08 competed in the lightweight four. This is a reflection of what has been a trying year for Big Green crews, who nevertheless exceeded expectations with a solid performance in the season-ending Eastern Sprints and IRA regattas. Things may be looking up for the Dartmouth crews in Ivy competition next year however, with only Columbia making the Grand Final of the IRA Varsity Eight competition. One thing is for sure, Dartmouth crews lack neither the facilities nor the coaching expertise to succeed. If the College can attract enough athletic firepower to be able to compete with larger institutions, we can expect to see great things.

Stoners Invade the Bagel Basement, Soil Everything

Several teenagers with present or past connections to Bagel Basement broke into the store late at night in early July. Police discovered all of them asleep at four in the morning on a routine check. One of them constructed a makeshift mattress from bags of floor, while the others presumably were less picky. The restaurant had to temporarily close because of health code violations including extremely potent sanitizers, open containers, and sleeping in the ingredients.

Constantine Fired, Finally!

Columbia’s Teachers College professor Madonna Constantine was fired last month for plagiarism. Constantine was accused of plagiarizing over a dozen times from three separate people, although she later accused them of plagiarizing from her. In one case, Constantine used over ten pages verbatim from one of her graduate students, passing it off as her own work. In the wake of the Priya Venkatesan controversy, it seems that the Ivy League has been plagued with incompetence of late. Like Venkatesan, Constantine tried to play victim and placed blame on a culture of hate and envy within the educational community. Last fall, Constantine found a noose hung outside of her office door, which gained national attention. The controversy led to a campus-wide outcry during which many Columbia students rallied behind her.

However, Columbia has finally realized that being the victim of a hate crime (or staging a hate crime on oneself?) does not excuse one from being held accountable for academic negligence. Constantine is in the process of appealing her dismissal, which will likely give the Columbia Spectator a few more months’ worth of headlines.

Kids These Days...

Summer has arrived, and room and board abound at the college on the hill. What, then, does the administration do with the rooms uninhabited by college students? They bring in hundreds of high paying, high school kids (There are much younger ones as well.) to experience the Ivy League in all its glory miles away from their parents. Apparently, these summer programs range from sports camps to academic coaching venues.

With each group, there are certain attendant annoyances—besides their general immaturity, of course. For example, the growth-related needs of the younger, pubescent children require that the Home Plate dining area be reduced to an all-the-grimness-you-can-eat buffet where the Grill isn’t even open.

Then there are the debate campers who are perhaps even more frustrating. All master-debating jokes aside, they invade Novack with their laptops and occupy all the electrical outlets, then they talk about foreign policy, energy policy, and even some philosophy but only after simplifying their subject into buzz-phrases and taglines, and worst of all, they are diligent in their research at the notorious place of procrastination. How dare those minors evoke guilt for our waning work ethic; they don’t earn the right to condescending looks until they get a diploma. Nevertheless, a visit to FoCo during dinnertime to witness the ensuing ridiculousness brings solace and makes one wonder, “Was I that obnoxious four years ago?” Yes, yes I was.

DHMC Does Well at “Making Folks Feel Good”

Dartmouth-Hitchock Medical center is ranked highly in the 2008 U.S. News and World Report of America’s Best Hospitals and has been ranked highly for many years. Though DHMC is the best cancer center in New Hampshire and was the only hospital in the state to make the list (44 out of 170) for the best cancer center, Media Relations Manager Jason Aldous reminded Upper Valley community members to take such rankings with a grain of salt, stating that U.S. News and World Report’s method of data collection is far from perfection. Yet, he notes that “considering there’s almost 600,000 or 700,000 hospitals in the country, to be in that upper one percent is a significant distinction.” (A distinction that no doubt helps in promotional presentations as well.)

Dispatches from the DOC

In early July, leaders of the Dartmouth Outing Club were shocked to learn of the sudden resignation of Andy Harvard, the director of the OPO, or Outdoor Programs Office. Rumors circulated that Harvard, who established a precedent of strong support for independent, student-led initiatives at the DOC with minimal administrative interference, was forced out of his position by higher-ups hostile towards his leadership style.

None of this has put a damper on the DOC’s usual summertime activities. In addition to offering weekly open-to-campus trips to hike, paddle, climb, fish, shoot, and work at the organic farm, this past weekend, the Outing Club ran “the 50,” a Dartmouth tradition in which teams of four students each embark upon a grueling 50-mile overnight hike from Hanover to the Moosilauke Ravine Lodge. About three-quarters of the 32 students who attempted to complete the 50 reached the Lodge on their own two feet, with the remainder dropping out due to injuries.

In other DOC-related news, the Moosilauke Advisory Committee has recommended that the fabled Moosilauke Ravine Lodge be replaced in the near future due to natural deterioration of its wood structure. The now over 70-year-old “Lodj,” which hosts a diverse variety of activities—from First-Year Trips to weddings—was originally intended to last for 35 to 40 years.

The Week in Review

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