The Last Word

By Christine Tian | Monday, September 22, 2008

Without education we are in a horrible and deadly danger of taking educated people seriously.
—G. K. Chesterton

Going to college offered me the chance to play football for four more years.
—Ronald Reagan

Pencey was full of crooks. Quite a few guys came from these wealthy families, but it was full of crooks anyway. The more expensive a school is, the more crooks it has—I’m not kidding.
—J. D. Salinger

A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or PhD. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.
—Fats Domino

If you tell folks you’re a college student, folks are so impressed. You can be a student in anything and not have to know anything. Just say toxicology or marine biokinesis, and the person you’re talking to will change the subject to himself. If this doesn’t work, mention the neural synapses of embryonic pigeons.
—Chuck Palahniuk

A university is a college with a stadium seating over 40,000.
—Leonard Levinson

All in all Beatrice O’Hara had absorbed the sort of education that will be quite impossible ever again; a tutelage measured by the number of things and people one could be contemptuous of and charming about...
—F. Scott Fitzgerald

Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not.
—Walter Bagehot

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life.
—Animal House (written by Chris Miller)

She was bored with simply being straight-A’s Claudia Kincaid. She was tired of arguing about whose turn it was to choose the Sunday night seven-thirty television show, of injustice, and of the monotony of everything.
—E. L. Konigsburg

Dublin university contains the cream of Ireland: Rich and thick.
—Samuel Beckett

We must not believe the many, who say that only free people ought to be educated, but we should rather believe the philosophers who say that only the educated are free.
—Epictetus

Experience teaches sense. You can’t learn it in a college course. Have you learned anything at Redmond except dead languages and geometry and such trash?
—L. M. Montgomery

A poor surgeon hurts 1 person at a time. A poor teacher hurts 130.
—Ernest Leroy Boyer

Oh, sweetheart, you don’t need law school. Law school is for people who are boring and ugly and serious.
—Legally Blonde

He was so learned that he could name a horse in nine languages; so ignorant that he bought a cow to ride on.
—Benjamin Franklin

There is less flogging in our great schools than formerly—but then less is learned there; so what the boys get at one end they lose at the other.
—Samuel Johnson

Looking back, I think we were all quite mature, surprisingly responsible. In earlier wars, boys of our age had just gone off to raise hell or enlist or both, but we stayed dutifully at our desks doing tomorrow’s homework.
—John Knowles

Education seems to be in America the only commodity of which the customer tries to get as little he can for his money.
—Max Forman

The advantage of a classical education is that it enables you to despise the wealth which it prevents you from achieving.
—Russell Green

The Last Word

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