Shifting the Tone at Parkhurst Hall

After a tumultuous first year marked by treason, mutiny, and subversion, President Sian Beilock has begun to crack down and purge the ranks of those disloyal to her reign. President Beilock is determined that her reign not be hindered by those seeking to disrupt creation of an empire, emblematic of the one she left behind at Barnard College. 

While much of Dartmouth continues to plot against our President for her willingness to stand up to an outraged swath of Hamas-endorsed students and faculty, there is much work to be done to prevent future undermining of our president’s power.

As all Dartmouth students remember, President Beilock reigned was marred by a treasonous faculty and an even more subversive student body in two elections. 

The two elections, both of which suffered from alleged dubious electoral procedures—including the subversive actions from student workers on campus, many of whom threatened to withhold vital campus services from students. One instance in particular saw a Novack worker incessantly and belligerent harass a freshman into voting no confidence. resulted in votes of “no confidence” from both the students and faculty. Not to mention the slanderous papers that were disseminated across campus, masquerading as The Dartmouth Review, which encouraged students to vote in opposition to Beilock. It is astonishing that, even with all of the alleged fraud, the vote managed to still be close.

The corruption of our college, sadly, did not end last spring. We continue to suffer from mutiny of all forms on campus including the recent insurgent desecration of our beloved Parkhurst Hall. Yes, the aerosol chemicals that stained the historically vital powerhouse of the President’s authority was emblematic of the worst of Dartmouth. It is difficult to imagine how those who would commit such a heinous, juvenile act somehow the ostensibly rigorous college admissions process. Perhaps the few years in which we suffered such a drop in applicant rigor as a result of test-optional policies is to blame. 

Appearing to take a page out of Project 2025’s book, President Beilock has apparently chosen to impose a spoils system to her administrative appointments.  Indeed, she has plucked her minions from the hallowed halls of Barnard College—her previous area of domain. Earlier this year, Dartmouth was fortunate enough to be graced with the ascension of Jennifer Rosales to lead the newly united Tucker Center, Office of Community Life and Inclusivity, and Outdoor programs office. This addition fully encapsulates the “drain the swamp” approach that our President Beilock has taken to her leadership.  

It is the position of The Dartmouth Review that all those selected into positions of administrative power must take an oath of indefatigable loyalty to the President of the College as long as that President is Sian Beilock. Any merit-based approaches to administrative appointments are likely to leave the President vulnerable to further attempts to undermine her rule.

While this regimentation of President’s Beilock’s cronies may spell good things for keeping order at Dartmouth College, such a loss to Barnard College may see the university (and New York City as we know it) descend into utter chaos. The college has, uncoincidentally, seen violence and vitriol ever since Beilock left just one year ago. It truly is no coincidence that Dartmouth has been the only Ivy League school to avoid the same chaotic pitfalls that the others have suffered. 

At the bottom of a school-wide email, President Beilock offered a form for students to submit nominations for the next Provost of Dartmouth College. We strongly encourage all readers to nominate a current administrator of Barnard College such that we solidify a coalition of loyalists to occupy the administration and cement Beilock as the undisputed monarch of Dartmouth College.