Bloody Green Key Sunday

Bloody Green Key Sunday

Premium Vodka
Sriracha
Adderall
Hopeless evasion of the events of the previous 48 hours
Salt
Celery
Smoked paprika

When partying well into Saturday night and through the twilight hours of Sunday morning, there is an indistinct, dreaded point in time at which every Green Key participant must pull back from the festivities of the weekend and muster renewed enthusiasm for academia, whose looming demands cannot be quieted by any amount of alcohol consumption.

It is in this moment, in which the expired excitement for the big weekend contrasts most severely with the dread toward impending finals, that I encourage—nay insist—that Dartmouth students prepare this recovery cocktail. The elevated expectations of the weekend are liable to leave even the rowdiest and festive of experiences with a case of FOMO.

Working in conjunction, these two emotional influences—disappointment at the weekend’s events and despair at the approaching wave of work that is week eight—cast many students into a deep, sullen state of lethargy, tempered by sporadic Adderall-fueled study binges.

In an effort to avoid this melancholy trap, I invite the students of Dartmouth to indulge in a weekend cure that has become a staple recovery drink from big weekends across the world. Although prohibition on campus may forbid this spicy delight, it is in these vital, reflective moments that we consider the greater community beyond Dartmouth, and our role within society, eventually gaining an appreciation for the insignificance of these desolate, transitional moments, and returning with reaffirmed vigor—and a slight buzz—to our purpose at the College.

By Mary