CONTEST

Get your entries in by Sunday (email them here). Dave Marmaros ’01 send these in:

-Fire the dean of Plurality, hire a dean of Dichotomy. (not much money would be saved this way, but at least the office would be correctly named)

– Football Team vs. Fencing Team, winner keeps funds.

– Sell tickets for above. I for one would go watch.

– Contract out to EBAs to run DDS. They know how to manage a food business profitably. [editor’s note: is EBA’s profitable? Above the table, that is…?]

– Stop putting up those silly ropes on the side of every road. Do they actually stop anyone from walking on the grass?

– Replace Dick’s house with a drug dispensing machine. As was proven in an earlier Review article [editor: see here, especially if you’re a freshman], it’s functionally equivalent.

Contest details are at the top of the page. Send ’em in.