Dartmouth Dining Declassified: Seed Oil Survival Guide

The age-old adage “you are what you eat” couldn’t be more true. The food you consume affects the function of your body and, therefore, the quality of your life. As a college student, what you put in your body is crucial in keeping up with your demanding academic and social life. 

But did you know that the American diet is a soupy marsh filled with landmines in the form of highly processed, nearly ubiquitous seed oils? Fear not, for this article serves as your Seed Oil Survival Guide for Dartmouth Campus.

To understand why seed oils are bad for you, you need a quick biology lesson. The human body is a biological machine that dissolves food through stomach acid and extracts the nutrients, which are carried to where they are needed by the body, while waste is excreted. However, not all calories yield the same nutritional benefits. While many claim that being in a calorie deficit is enough to lose weight, the structures that one’s body depletes first must be correlated with the food eaten. 

However, not all calories yield the same nutritional benefits. While many claim that being in a calorie deficit is enough to lose weight, the structures that one’s body depletes first must be correlated with the food eaten. 

So, it’s not just about the calories, but the quality of the calories consumed. The quality of the calories consumed has to do with the micronutrients and complementary amino acids present, which allow the body to have greater access to the macronutrients present. This increased access is called bioavailability. Certain foods, like steak and organ meats, fruits and vegetables, butter, tallow, and ghee are more bioavailable because of their nutritional density; whereas processed, industrial foods, like cottonseed oil and soybean oil, are less bioavailable to extract from because of their lack of essential micronutrients. 

Now, what do seed oils have to do with all of this? The American diet, for the last century, has declined in quality, which has led to an epidemic of obesity so severe it is comical when observed in local Walmarts. One of the main culprits of this decline? … the highly processed, nearly ubiquitous seed oils, like Canola, Soybean, Cottonseed, Sunflower, Safflower, and Peanut. But what makes seed oils so bad for you? Well, let’s take the curious case of Crisco as an example. 

Crisco first emerged as a way to undercut the prices of beef tallow for candles using the toxic waste oil from crushed cotton seeds, called crystallized cottonseed oil. This soon hit the shelves as a replacement for beef tallow not only in candles but in food as well. Marketing was well underway by the 1920s, and the volume of toxic cotton seeds began entering the feed of animals and humans alike.

Aside from the obvious inedibility of cotton, the toxicity of cottonseed oil comes from its reaction with the digestive system. Upon entering a body heated to 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit, the oils cause oxidative stress which inflames the organs and leads to degenerative diseases in the gut.

So, what can you do to avoid seed oils on Dartmouth Campus? For starters, be mindful of the labels on the food you consume. Look for foods that contain olive oil, coconut oil, or even avocado oil. These are all healthier alternatives to seed oils. Secondly, stay away from processed foods, like frozen meals or fast food, as they contain higher levels of seed oils. The challenge for the consumer is not to choose to eat healthy but to avoid being poisoned by today’s nutritional normalities.

So, what can you do to avoid seed oils on Dartmouth Campus? For starters, be mindful of the labels on the food you consume. Look for foods that contain olive oil, coconut oil, or even avocado oil. These are all healthier alternatives to seed oils.

At Dartmouth, it is frequently observed that everyone gets sick the moment they get to campus. The anecdote, although seemingly universal, has curiously never warranted further investigation until this article.

A simple response to an inquiry I sent via email has revealed that DDS has inadvertently been feeding its students a laundry list of detergent-like chemicals in low-quality oil, perhaps creating a host of health problems amongst the student body.

With ingredients like “canola oil, canola lecithin, mono and diglycerides, natural flavor, and propellant” in the very spray which greases the pan, how can we not succumb to illness? We are being poisoned by marketers using the delightfully ambiguous term “natural flavors.” Define natural—like monkey urine, crude oil? Propellant? Why are we consuming propellant? Another word of which DDS is proud is the label “Gluten Free.” It strikes me how misguided consumer instinct must be if “Gluten Free” is featured as legitimate marketing for a spray whose ingredient list reminds a reader more of an incendiary accelerant than of food. 

The email goes into further detail on the spray, again citing “…canola oil, caprylic/capric triglycerides, phosphated mono & diglycerides, silicon dioxide, calcium stearate, [and] propellant.” These imposing concoctions of Latin roots and the obscure compound names in the most basic grease spray would baffle anyone without a degree in chemistry and only highlights the inedibility of the ingredients. Yet again with the ominous addition of “Gluten Free,” this is merely the tip of the iceberg in terms of the toxic additives present in Dartmouth Dining Services. The inclusion of silicon dioxide, which is literally just silicon filling, is reminiscent of mixing sawdust to cut the bread dough of Victorian times. Once again propellant is consumed, and once again “Gluten Free” fails to raise any real health benefits of the product. Whatever happened to butter?

Perhaps the greatest tragedy is the bastardization of edible oil. The highest quality fat on campus is extra virgin olive oil, but DDS dilutes this to “75% Canola Oil and 25% Extra Virgin Olive Oil.” This is a most unconscionable act, to mix a delicious and healthy fatty oil with literal rapeseed (the original, pre-boomer name for Canola seeds … still used in England) is deleterious not only to the health of the student body but to the taste of the food! The 25/75 blend of olive to canola oil serves only to extend the supply of the expensive oil and mask the taste of the inferior one. Even more insidious is “Canola Salad Oil: 100%.” Needless to say, anyone who puts canola oil on salads will reap the poisonous rewards!

Perhaps the greatest tragedy is the bastardization of edible oil. The highest quality fat on campus is extra virgin olive oil, but DDS dilutes this to “75% Canola Oil and 25% Extra Virgin Olive Oil.”

Their “Pure Sesame Oil, Roland brand” is toxic. Sesame seed oil, although tasty, is another oil that oxidizes the body and disrupts systematic function in the gut biome, and it should not be consumed. 

It is in the fried food on campus where Dartmouth students receive the greatest volume of toxic oil in their diet, as many consider fried food a safe bet compared to any of the dubious choices offered by DDS. Anything dipped in the fryer oil is subject to the even more questionable additives and toxic oils than the rest of campus. To all the deep fryers around campus, “Dimethylpolysiloxane” is added as an “anti-foaming agent.” Where, pray tell, are anti-foaming agents on the food pyramid? Dimethylpolysiloxane is a “widely used silicon-based organic polymer.” Although it has been deemed safe by the European Food Safety Authority Panel, its addition surely does not reverse the already-toxic qualities of industrial seed oils. More strange solutes for unsuspecting consumers. 

Even at the Kosher station, you can’t escape the processed substitutes. These strange chemicals are ubiquitous on campus, even at Collis “they use all the same oils used in 53, depending upon the recipe” and “any of Novack’s food that is prepared on campus is made at 53, so all the same information about oils appl[ies]. ” “At Courtyard, they also use all the same products as 53, except for the fryer oil,” which is still a “canola blend.” It’s all laden with toxic fat.

Let the above stand in testimony to the strange, and dangerous, industrial diet of any student on a Dartmouth Dining plan. That said, it would not serve any purpose to lay blame or seek redress. The only practicable solution would be to fundamentally shift how we—as a society—view not only the act of eating but the procurement of the material and the processing of the ingredients therein. 

Considering the ubiquity of seed oils on campus, and the necessity of a dining plan if taking courses, the only choice a Dartmouth student has is to mitigate the damage. In order to do that, try limiting your consumption of fried food for starters- it’s all laden with toxic fat. 

At Foco, the ice cream bar is probably the safest, since it’s merely a frozen combination of milk and sugar, but this ridiculous “safest” option speaks volumes about the limited choices available to students which are not laden with seed oils. After that, the vegetarian bar is safe, with its steamed broccoli and all, and most vegetarian options at the soup bar are clean. Since all the meat is grilled with seed oil, limiting portions from Ma Thayer’s Grill, even asking the FoCo stir-fry cooks to fry your food without oil serves to judiciously select foods that are least processed. These are a student’s best bet in managing intake of these toxic ingredients. 

At Foco, the ice cream bar is probably the safest, since it’s merely a frozen combination of milk and sugar, but this ridiculous “safest” option speaks volumes about the limited choices available to students which are not laden with seed oils.

At Collis, the sushi bar, smoothie bar, and vegetarian options at the soup bar are most free of seed oils, but there are other compromising elements in certain foods therein that are beyond the scope of this article. The premade food is filled with preservatives and the Collis stir-fry station and omelets all use oil to grease the pan. 

At the Courtyard Cafe, only the customizable options at the salad bar and some of the vegetarian options at the hot sidebar are safe. Anything cooked at the grill is covered in seed oils. The premade salads without dressing are also probably safe, as is the produce available. 

Avoiding these oils is basically impossible on campus, but people have a right to know the volume of toxic fluid they put in their bodies -this coming from a fraternity brother! Hopefully, imparting this knowledge has inspired you to think more carefully about what we consume daily, unbeknownst to us.

So shed seed oils and gather ghee, buy butter. Eat steak and eat berries. Drink water and bask in sunshine. Touch grass and lift weights. Escape the fetters of a modern world and regain fundamental connectedness to nature. The fundamental shift starts with lifestyle change, and lifestyle change starts with a change in diet. Start by eliminating seed oils and only eating grass-fed beef, and soon enough you’ll be running through the mountains naked listening for the old gods in the tumbling rumble of a waterfall and in the crashing crack of thunder.