I Don’t Remember

Ingredients

Green Key is a weekend to be forgotten—not due to any hard feelings towards the pinnacle of parties, but instead on account of the burden placed upon the brain by back-to-back-to-back blackouts. As such, the recipe above should be considered when attempting to progress the process of passing out. 

Here are the instructions to forget a night to be remembered: Simply swallow three shots of your chosen swill and pass faster than a lightweight lout. As tequila has a reputation for making clothes fall off, perhaps consider another liquor to avoid the fear of exposing one’s rear. I hear rum is the best for ailing any feelings of glumness. 

— Robin Banks