The Massage Chairs: A Libertarian Endorsement of Government Expenditure

On January 10, 2023, the Student Wellness Center (SWC) and Academic Skills Center (ASC) unveiled their massage chairs on the first floor of Berry. Previously, I was ignorant of the existence of either of these campus organizations. However, I am happy to announce that I now visit the centers’ shared space and tranquility room on a weekly basis. And I’m not the only one.

Ben Jenkins ’25, an intern in the Student Wellness Center’s Alcohol Prevention Program and monitor of the tranquility room, informed me that the massage chairs are “a hot commodity.” He added that the only unforeseen consequence of the heated, fully-reclining massage chairs is that some people want to spend longer than fifteen minutes—or even fall asleep—in them, which can create frustration among students patiently waiting their turn. However, following the implementation of a sign-in system and monitors like Ben, this minor issue has been largely resolved. A member of the soccer team, Ben also informed me that athletes are particularly fond of the massage chairs. 

I also spoke to Christiana Fitzpatrick and Caitlin Barthelmes, Office Manager and Director of the Student Wellness Center, respectively. Fitzpatrick explained that no money came out of the College’s coffers—you know, those things we fill to the tune of $82,000 a year. Instead, Jessica Chiriboga ’24, Dartmouth Student Government Vice President, obtained an American Eagle Future Together grant to afford the tranquility room’s massage chairs (one roughly $900 and the other approximately $1600), bluetooth lamp, cushions, yoga mats, extra face masks, and baskets.

Fitzpatrick informed me that the old Student Wellness Center actually had a massage chair, featured below and now stationed in the Garden Room of the adjacent Academic Skills Center.

Fitzpatrick assured me that, despite its much more modest appearance, this massage chair is also highly functional, popular, and similar in price to the new chairs. Nevertheless, the new tranquility room possesses a superior feng shui and its two new chairs accommodate more body types. Since the SWC staff members started recording the visits to the SWC, they have recorded 113, 137, and 162 students per week. Fitzpatrick attributes much of the traffic to the tranquility room and to the therapy dog, Rosie the Goldendoodle, who visits on Thursday evenings and is greeted by approximately 20-30 students over the course of an hour. Am I just living under a rock (I do live at Summit, so don’t answer that), or was everyone else also unaware of these amenities?

Barthelmes informed me that the SWC’s move to FFB from Robo and creation of the tranquility room occurred in response to high student (read: market) demand for the old massage chair in the SWC’s original space. The move to the larger space has allowed the SWC to meet this demand by providing more and larger massage chairs. While I had originally intended to write this piece as a critique of frivolous spending of College money on expensive amenities that nobody asked for, I have nothing but praise to offer: the SWC knew that there was demand for massage chairs, and two amazing massage chairs were acquired for far less than I anticipated. I highly recommend you pay a visit to these contraptions if you haven’t. The massage chairs target both your back and neck, as well as your feet, legs, and arms. Their remotes include about a dozen massage options, including a zero-gravity full-recline mode. Even I, President of the Dartmouth Libertarians, must endorse this (student) government expenditure!