Locker Room Talk

Locker Room

Hurt Feelings

Moral Superiority

High Horses

She used to be great. She’s still very cunning. I moved on her, actually. You know, she was down in Foggy Bottom. I moved on her, and I failed. I’ll admit it. I did try and indict her. She was married (to a powerful man). I moved on her very heavily. In fact, I put her under subpoena and cross examined her for hours. She wanted to get a private server. I said, “I’ll show you what should happen to those who store secrets on private servers.” I moved on her like a b****. But I couldn’t get there. And she was married to a former president. Then all of a sudden I see her, she’s now got the big phony story and everything. She’s totally changed her story.

I better use some Tic Tacs just in case I start yelling at her. You know, I’m automatically repulsed by corruption – I just start yelling. It’s like a magnet. Just yelling. I don’t even wait. But because she’s a star, they let her do it. It’s like she can do anything.

Indict her by the pantsuit.

By Atticus G. Weyman