One Bite, Everybody Knows the Rules: Hanover French Fry Crawl

French fries were discovered by American soldiers during their time away from the carnage at Flanders Fields amidst World War One. Though the men were in Belgium, all the locals were speaking French. When they returned home, they brought french fries with them. Way to go, boys. 

Inspired by our love of both french fries and Dave Portnoy’s One Bite Barstool Reviews, we set out to discover the best fries of Hanover. What constitutes a french fry, you might ask? A dish or side dish that labels itself as such with no deviance. “French” and “fry” in that order or bust. Call us sticklers, but this was not without contestation. Home fries, nope! Roasted, scalloped, or cottage, heaven forbid! Even polenta fries were out of the question… 

First, a few procedural matters: This is a review comprising restaurants in Hanover, NH. While we love our College on the Hill, we concede that it is not a culinary hub of America, nor does it claim to be. Instead of adjusting standards and adopting Hanover culinary goggles, we attempted to keep a broader scope. We, as all humans, are inherently biased. In this case, the bias was particular towards crispier fries, so bear that in mind as you proceed. 

The Class of 1953 Commons:

Price: $2,264.00 (The Ivy Unlimited plan)

Rating: 3.9/10

As the only dining hall on campus, The Class of 1953 Commons, better known as Foco, is responsible for serving the whole of the student body. In other words, quantity will always come before quality. The french fries at Foco are notorious for their inconsistency. The fries we had in this instance were incredibly limp. Soggy, almost. While we weren’t expecting much, fries that were less offensive to the palate would have been nice. If we were to step foot in Foco again, the fries could be completely different. Such is Dartmouth Dining. Due to Foco fries’ lack of flavor, structure, and overall inconsistency, we rate them a 3.9.

Courtyard Cafe:

Price: $3.75

Rating: 4.7/10

Hop Fries were once, long ago, a staple of the Hop’s late night menu. However, with Dartmouth Dining’s schedule changes, they have been relegated to a mere side for your lunch burger special. Our fries were served up on a lackluster paper plate. Furthermore, the fries had no separation from the outside to the inside. There is simply no other way to phrase it. A member of The Review staff aptly commented, “They just don’t do anything.” Too crunchy, too mushy, too hard, too limp—the Hop fries just didn’t cut it. For their effort, or lack thereof, the Courtyard Cafe receives a 4.7 rating. 

PINE Restaurant:

Price: $7.00

Rating: 6.9/10

Pine is a mainstay of Dartmouth’s off-campus scene and objectively the foremost establishment in town. They never fail to provide a quality dining experience—a quality that, though rarely exceptional, is never bad. The fries were on par with this, neither life-changing nor offensive. Uniform, sufficiently crunchy, sufficiently potato-y, these fries delivered what they set out to do. They were well-salted and elegantly presented in a metal canister. Their pitfall was twofold: their yuzu aioli was reminiscent of when one of our great-grandmothers would use lemon juice to “reinvigorate” the otherwise out-of-commission food, and, at $7.00 for a small portion, the price point was a stretch. We bestow a 6.9.

Lou’s Restaurant:

Price: $4.00

Rating: 6.4/10

In Hanover, Lou’s is an institution. It boasts an unmatched ambiance with familial hospitality and inspires a unique sense of nostalgia. However, you are not strolling into Lou’s hungover with friends on a Sunday or with your parents for their annual visit to order french fries. Perhaps that is the last thing on your mind… As you wait in line you are salivating over the cowbowl bowl, big green with home fries, or chunky monkey with extra syrup. Inevitably, we were neither enthused by the prospect of ordering french fries nor by the product themselves. Arriving in a green basket, they were not uniform in size or shape and could definitely use some more salt. Although not exceeding any expectations, they did not fail in any sense of the term. The Lou’s fries had a decent crunch and, with a bit of ketchup, the flavor was easily enhanced. If you are feeling frisky you could even dip your fries in syrup, which is distinctive to this establishment. Perhaps these fries would be a nice pairing with the signature smash burger in the afternoon, but at a place like Lou’s, the fries should not be on your list of foods to order. We give these fries a 6.4. 

Molly’s Restaurant and Bar:

Price: $6.00

Rating: 6.6/10

We ventured into Molly’s with no expectations. After all, the restaurant might as well be the Hanover equivalent of a Chili’s. Our basket of fries was incredibly uniform but wonderfully salty. While the fries lacked crunch, they were consistent in their plainness. In a world that can be so tumultuous, the fries at Molly’s provide some much needed stability. The patrons of Molly’s don’t really come for a plain basket of fries. Their truffle fries and sweet potato fries are much more enticing. If you’re after an incredibly average basket of fries, head over to Molly’s. We generously give a 6.6.

Murphy’s on the Green:

Price: $6.00

Rating: 7.3/10

As the official bar of the Tuck School of Business, Murphy’s is no stranger to classic pub food. We sat down and ordered their Hand Cut Fries. True to their name, each fry took on an individual shape. Our first bites had a crunch, but they could have been crunchier. Due to the unique nature of each fry, as we ate, we were able to find fries that suited our exact preferences of warm potato and crispy outside. The hospitality was excellent, and, with no prompting, our server inquired if we would like sauces beyond the ketchup they had provided. Expecting the typical mayonnaise and barbecue sauce, we were pleasantly surprised by the chipotle aioli brought out for us. After thoughtful consideration, Murphy’s on the Green receives a 7.3 rating for their services to the bar flies of Hanover. 

Dunk’s Sports Grill:

Price: $7.00

Rating: 8.4/10

When Dunk’s Sports Grill opened its doors in May 2021, the sports bar ambiance attracted students and locals alike. Sitting down at one of their high top tables, we embarked on our french fry journey. Initially, the fries were pleasant: crispy, seasoned, and well proportioned. We made our way further into the bowl, and our experience became something Epicurean. The french fries held the perfect crunch, a piquant flavor, and were enjoyable to share amongst friends. As we finished our last bites, the manager came over to ask how we were liking our food. Upon singing praises over the fries, we received an in-depth explanation of the—quite complex—Dunk’s french fry process, though the exact ingredients of their “Dunk’s spice” were kept a mystery. He then offered us a tour of the kitchen, to which we readily agreed. Truly, Dunk’s makes these french fries with love in their hearts. We sought to give Dunk’s the highest possible rating without adjusting to any Hanover inflation; thus, the fries receive an 8.4 rating, along with our deepest gratitude. 

C & A Pizza 

Price: $4.00 

Rating: 0.0/10

Walking to C & A Pizza we were already skeptical of the quality, but found solace in the fact that regardless of taste, we could at least purchase french fries. Boy, were we wrong… The store itself was empty, void of employees, and the eerie vibes were our only company. All that indicated the pizza joint had not closed down was a sign on the door with a number to call. But alas, capitalism rewards those who make their product accessible. And C & A could not have been further from that reality. Instead of getting soggy fries delivered by the perhaps single employee working in the back, we refrained from calling and gave them a 0.0. We doubt the actual score would differ drastically even if conditions were optimal.