That’s It. Now I’ve Seen Everything.

There is now a consulting firm dedicated specifically to aiding Dartmouth College students deal with the Committee on Standards (COS). No, I’m not making that up. I first became aware of it when scanning a list of new followers on our Twitter account. 

So, who are these guys? Well, in their own words:

The consultants behind Bye Bye COS are Dartmouth students and alums who have been through the grueling COS process and understand your fear. Additionally, several associates work at Bye Bye COS conducting research, managing schedules, and assisting our consultants. The identities of Bye Bye COS consultants have been concealed to protect your privacy and any repercussions from the administration. Bye Bye COS also employs associates to perform administrative tasks and supplementary research.

Interesting, and not a bad development. Years ago, TDR had some staffers interact with COS (and TDR, as is traditional when dealing with the school, won), and having something like this around would’ve been handy.

The advertising, though, is quite out there. On the “About” page, one sentence reads “A COS hearing is unlike any criminal or civil hearing you have attended.” While true (COS doesn’t operate like a regular court of law), the sentence lends itself to certain assumptions about the reader, namely that he is a fairly litigious person. Next up, on the “Stories” page, they list examples of clients they’ve hlped–whose names are not given, naturally–followed by…Bible verses? Yes. Take, for example,  this tale:

TOO CLOSE TO THE PRESIDENT’S HOUSE

The client was walking along Webster Ave. with his friends when they decided to enter a fraternity house. After deciding the scene was not what they were looking for, they left the house and started running around in a playful manner. 

A Safety & Security officer stopped the client and told him that when he sees people running, it makes him think they are up to no good. The officer accused the client of being too close to the President’s house and the client’s COS nightmare began. 

While Dartmouth saw a thug too close to the President’s house, Bye Bye COS saw a hard-working student close to achieving his dreams. The expert consultants at Bye Bye COS worked with the client on his case to show that he was nowhere near the President’s house and was an upstanding citizen. In fact, it turned out he was at Bones Gate fraternity, not on the President’s property.

 

Result: STUDENT FOUND NOT RESPONSIBLE, COS CHARGES DROPPED!

 

“The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord” – Psalm 37:23 

Bye Bye COS has a Twitter account as well as a blog. Also, judging by the choice of music on the website, they consist of people who really like Queen. 

—Sterling C. Beard