(Ultra) MAGA!

Editor’s Note: This is an edition of Barrett’s Mixology from a past election that had consequences.

Ingredients

  • 1 part Limiting Access to Abortion (substitute at your pleasure with Overturning Roe V. Wade)
  • 2 parts Dirt-covered Hands of the Working Man
  • 1 part “Marriage is between a man and a woman”
  • Garnished with the Second Amendment
  • Served in sippy cups to all the infantile liberals

This is it. This is the end of the Republican Party. There will never be another Republican president. Every state is turning blue. 

The red light at the end of the tunnel is fading. He is our last hope. We can’t lose.

She is the most qualified person to ever run for the office of president. She is not the lesser of two evils, she is the best candidate you could ask for.

Traditional values, fiscal conservatism, unapologetic foreign policy… all gone.

The future of America is female.

Where are you, God?

Shatter the glass ceiling!

What’s happening to my way of life?

Wait.

Oh my God.

She lost?

We won?

But… how?

We won!

*Sobbing and rocking back and forth* I can’t even right now.

*Crying of joy* Make America Great Again!

By Conrad Kissinger (updated by Teetotal Recall)

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