The Teepee Tequila
Ingredients Toilet Paper Purell (or Everclear)Pepto-BismolDesperationTequila His papers are submitted, it was not fun,But now his work is finally done. This occasion should be joyous, he departs…
Barrett’s Mixology
The Apology
Ingredients – Hemlock – Shame? Hopefully – Spilled Tea – Inner Daimons – One shot for every time you question how we got here “You…
Big Weekend Energy
“We’re going big. We’re going hard,” declared the sophomoric SAE pledge. “It’s Winter Carnival? You know what that means? Big. Weekend. Energy. We’re going to…
The Shameful Sip
Ingredients– White Claw– Self-loathing– A small penis – Pumpkin spice seasoning Have you ever felt your black cherry white claw just wasn’t festive enough? Well,…
A Man of God
Ingredients– Monkey 47– Individually bottled Mediterranean fever tree tonic water – $600 New England leather shoes– Desperate Housewives – A sear sucker suit & a cigar– Massachusetts’ home grown finest – A summer of intensive…
The Appalachian Absinthe
Ingredients – 50 oz absinthe – 50 g organic cane sugar – 50 mL iodine creek water or urine – 10 bottles 5-hour energy –…
To Our Esteemed Colleague
Ingredients — Handle of Granite State Vodka, priced at $6.79 — Leave off jacket, coat, long pants, and dignity. Dear old Dartmouth, give a rouse…
The D-Lite
The D-Lite Ingredients: Keystone Light— sacrifice taste for everything else A bottle Bitters— enough for alumni, students, and the college’s bank account to enjoy Pennies—…
The Moscow Mueller
2 ounces Nemiroff 1 ounce fresh squeezed lie juice 4 ounces Ginger Beer Shake with ICE Garnish, serve in Copper Mug Shot It’s 2AM in…
The Ban-Ender
The Ban-Ender 3 Keystone Lights, warm and half-foam 2 banned Jell-O shots that weren’t in the fridge long enough Buckets of sweat from an intense…